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“Would it have made a difference?” I asked. “Or would you have asked me not to?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes,” I replied, already knowing the answer.

“I would have asked you to wait until this round of exams is over.” She leaned her chin on her knees. “Although the next round is right around the corner with the schedule they set out. It’s difficult to keep up.”

“What can I do to help?” I asked, rubbing the back of her neck, feeling the stiff muscles.

“Nothing. I’m sorry.” She glanced away.

“Don’t be sorry. What are you doing today besides studying?”

“Reading ahead for the week. Our next labs and theory are even more intricate. I start more interaction with patients in a hospital setting soon. Everything is going to escalate. The program is getting even more intense—not easier.”

I studied her before asking my next question. “If I make a late reservation, could we do dinner later?”

“I can try.”

“Okay. I’ll find a quiet spot and get a nine-o’clock reservation. That gives you twelve hours of time to work.”

I leaned over and kissed her. “I’m going to go see my sisters. If they find out I was here and didn’t see them, I’d be in trouble. I’ll call you later, and we’ll firm up plans.”

She caught my hand. “I’m sorry. I know you expected⁠—”

I cut her off. “Any time I get with you is good. It’s fine, sweetheart.”

Gracie and Heather were away on a girls’ weekend. I already knew that, but I didn’t want Maddy feeling worse than she already did. I could go see Aiden or Maddox—take a quick trip down to Port Albany and spend the day surrounded by people, but I wasn’t in the mood. Instead, I drove to Niagara-on-the-Lake and wandered the park. Strolled the streets. Had a solitary lunch while staring out at the water.

I had a horrible feeling I had done more harm than good coming here this weekend. Maddy was in over her head, swimming in responsibilities, and I had only added to her stress. The distance I had felt growing between us now seemed like a yawning chasm I couldn’t cross.

I shut my eyes as I admitted we both had let our relationship slide. Not from lack of caring, but due to our responsibilities. The commitments we had made before we’d met each other. The added distance was showing all the cracks we refused to acknowledge were there. This course was Maddy’s main focus—which was exactly how it should be. There were times in my medical training I could barely keep my head above water. In my early residency, sleep was merely a word. Family time a distant memory. In fact, I often refused to attend events if it meant I could get in more study time or catch a few hours of precious shut-eye. At the time, I’d never thought about how it affected the people I loved the most. I was younger, more selfish. But Maddy felt it deeply, and it was distressing her.

I’d thought a surprise visit would be welcomed. That we would spend some time together and reconnect. I’d never thought to ask. To give her a chance to say no.

I hadn’t given Maddy that option. Neither had Sue. The women she was surrounded with understood since they were under the same stresses. I had developed some close relationships with my fellow classmates and residents I still had today. No one understood the grueling schedule we kept better than each other. There was a camaraderie among us. We had each other’s backs. That was what it was like for her and this group of friends that she was sharing her life with. That was her reality now.

Bentley’s words came back to me—“Sometimes, something has to give.”

I stood, paid the bill, and walked out of the restaurant, knowing what that something might have to be. Bracing myself for the acceptance of what I knew was coming.

Maddy

I wiped away my frustrated tears as I stared at the words on the screen. I had read and reread them. Made notes, said them out loud—all the things I usually did to lock the information into my head. But today, it wasn’t working.

All I could think of was the fact that Matthew was here. And I had sent him away to study. I’d had to do the same thing when Sue had shown up unexpectedly. I should be thrilled to have people who loved me enough to travel so far to see me, but it only deepened my feelings of inadequacy. I was swamped from the moment I woke up until I fell into bed, exhausted and drained. I ran from classes to lectures to labs. To theory and practical sessions. I studied nonstop. I forgot to eat most days, instead surviving on coffee and snacks. I was lucky to be sharing a house with the women I’d been placed with and had gotten to know a few other people in my class. We were all in the same boat, although a few seemed to be handling it better than I was.

I knew it would be grueling. Concentrated. If I was honest with myself, it was more difficult than I had expected.

And I hadn’t considered the complex emotions of leaving Sue and Matthew. The guilt. The worry. And, at times, the slight annoyance at their continued concern for me.

It didn’t make sense to me why I was feeling annoyed.

I loved Matthew.

Yet his trip here was an interruption. One I couldn’t afford. And later, I had to explain that to him. I had expected him to understand without my having to remind him of his schooling and residency. But he seemed to have forgotten the scrutiny and demands of that time.

I had already seen the flickers of hurt cross his face. The disappointment I didn’t go to the hotel with him. The slight grimace of impatience when I said I had to study today. How he tried to brush off the disaster dinner had been last night. I knew my anxiety was making him tense, and it only got worse. I had hoped breakfast would be better, and it was a little, but there was a stiffness between us now.