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Arthur’s eyes widened as our lips met, but then he closed them, leaning into the kiss. My heart was beating so fast. I knew next to nothing about my sweet mate, nothing other than he was a prince and was promised to marry another. Arranged marriages were a thing of the past, and with him having found his fated mate, it should have made their agreement void. If Arthur feared it wouldn’t be, which he clearly had, then there was nothing else I could do than claim my mate and fight anyone who’d dare come after us.

To my surprise, Arthur pushed me down on our bed, deepening the kiss. We moaned as our hands explored one another, each frantic breath taken quickly only for us to resume kissing.

And then my mate disappeared. I sat up, disoriented and confused, but he was still with me, just in his shifted form now. A cute hedgehog was sitting on the covers, looking all cute and cuddly.

“You’re so damn adorable,” I cooed, picking him up in my arms. Arthur went willingly, seeming to want to burrow deep into my arms. I wanted him there forever. “Why did you shift?” I asked, wishing we’d spent the rest of the night kissing. I could survive without sleep if it meant I had Arthur’s lips on mine.

He stayed in his shifted form and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just lost something. I’d kissed him firstly because I’d wanted to, and secondly, because I wanted our mating bond to seal. He knew me better than I knew him, so kissing hadn’t been enough for us to bond, yet. Although, I was certain a few more minutes would’ve been enough. Was him shifting a sign he still didn’t want me? It felt like a rejection and I hated that I couldn’t ask him. Instead, I tried to protect my heart—even if it was too late for that— and placed him back on what was his pillow.

“Sweet dreams, Arthur,” I whispered, and then I turned off the light and got comfortable. He didn’t want to kiss or talk, so sleeping it was.

No sounds came from Arthur’s side, so sleep came easily. I thought it would take me hours to find rest, but after releasing my emotions, I felt drained.

The next morning, Arthur was nowhere to be seen. It felt like a stab to my heart. Why had he just left without saying good morning? Was this his way of telling me he still didn’t want me? The hurt that came hit harder than anticipated. He knew me now. Had kissed me. Been held in my arms. And yet, he obviously made his choice known.

I wasn’t the one he chose.

My family would be waiting for me at breakfast, ready to help, but I couldn’t face them. I would break down and cry right there in the dining hall. And what would I do if Arthur was in any of my classes? Would he pretend not to know me? That would only hurt worse.

Instead of facing all of that. I took a bath, hoping Arthur would return so we could talk before classes. He didn’t. Sighing, I decided to say fuck it all and left the academy walls. The forest was my sanctuary and my bear was my comfort. I shifted once I was inside the safety of the trees and walked my favorite path, letting the familiar scents welcome me as the sun’s rays shone through the leaves.

It was easier to think while in my bear form. The presence and weight of this form was a comfort that helped me think more rationally. My paws moved forward even as my mind replayed last night over and over again. Had it been too much for Arthur? Had I forced myself on him? The thought sickened me. I made a vow to myself to never touch him without his consent again, even if I longed to taste his lips.

I stopped by the forest lake. The water was calm this early in the morning, the fish pretending not to be there as my bear head popped up, looking down at the greenery, the water crystal clear. Even if it was my own reflection I saw—brown fur and green eyes—Arthur’s face was the one my mind conjured up, his deep blue eyes so filled with emotions. I thought I saw my own longing in them, but was I mistaken? It seemed that even shifted I couldn’t relax. Arthur seemed to have wanted me, had told me as much. But he must’ve changed his mind and instead of telling me about it, he’d shifted. It was a cowardly move, and I should’ve been angry with him. I just couldn’t seem to feel anything other than hurt. My heart had never felt this sort of anguish before. I wish I could make this horrible feeling go away, but maybe this was just how life would be from now on: painful.

My light showed up then, trying to guide me to my first class. For the first time ever, I ignored it. It was hard prioritizing my education here when nothing seemed to matter anymore. My mate had pulled away from me again, hiding from me. Why should I care about graduating? The promise of getting a soul form, whatever that was, wasn’t even enticing like it had been at first. Why should anything matter if my heart wasn’t whole? Arthur had taken my heart and disappeared with it, and I still barely knew him. All it had taken was one look into those eyes, so beautiful and never ending. I’d offered my heart to him without realizing it.

So yeah, classes weren’t important, not without my heart.

Night had fallen over the forest, and I should make my way back. They’d told us numerous times that we had to return to our rooms, but I couldn’t face the empty room. Especially since it wouldn’t be empty. No, Arthur would most likely hide underneath the bed, waiting for me to turn off the light and pretend like last night never happened.

I couldn’t pretend. I was hurting and my heart was missing. All I’d managed to do all day was eat and nap. The berries from the forest tasted sour now that they reminded me of Arthur. My family hadn’t sought me out, like I feared they would. I was thankful for the privacy to work through my emotions, even if I’d yet to figure out what to do.

A part of me imagined Arthur sitting on our bed, waiting for me. He’d apologize and we would make love all night long, sealing our bond. He would be mine then and no one could take him away from me. Then another vision showed him under the bed, ignoring me even as I cried out for him to talk to me, begging him to please just tell me what I’d done wrong.

I had no idea what I would walk in on, and seeing as one path would kill me, I stayed in the forest. Headmaster Wren could banish me all he wanted. I no longer cared.

If I was a braver man, I would’ve hunted Arthur down and talked to him about all of this, but he’d been hiding from me for so long, he’d mastered the skill. I wasn’t about to chase him. I’d already spent two months talking to him. He knew me. Knew who he’d decided not to keep.

Rain started pouring from the sky, and with it, I cried. My bear had never cried. But he did now, letting the rain mix with our tears as we let the hurt take over.

Chapter Six

Hushed voices spoke around me, some sounding angry and others exasperated. It took me seconds before I realized it was my family.

Opening my eyes, I found myself in the same room I’d visited Jamie and Nym in once. But why I was at the healers I couldn’t quite understand. I felt fine. I was also back in my human form, which was surprising, considering I’d fallen asleep in my bear form.

“Finally!” Myve sighed. “Do you know how long we’ve waited here?!”

“Um, no?” I rasped, sitting up fully. Myve, Ryn, Jamie, and Nym were all here, their mates thankfully absent. They were still family, but I really didn’t want them to see me like this.

Myve stood with her hands on her hips, looking furious. “An hour, Nazuss! All while you were in your happy little comatose sleep.”

“Wait, what?” I blinked and scanned my body for any injuries. “Was I hurt?”

She shook her head, sighing. “The Magic doesn’t allow you outside after curfew. According to healer Therese, you’re put to sleep and transported here for safety reasons if you don’t manage to return inside on time.”

“Why were you even out there during the night?” Nym asked, tone worried.