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Now I’m laughing as I tug my T-shirt up and over my legs and snuggle up on the couch. My skin is prickling. It’s like I’m still coming down from the high I experienced at Clark’s office. I went from a life of not a single orgasm to having two—one right after the other. And it’s like my body doesn’t quite know how to process that. I sure don’t.

“Come on, it’s not that big of a deal—”

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” Sasha scoffs, swatting playfully at me. “This is huge! Professor Durand is like the hottest professor on campus, and you, the girl who was apparently going to die a virgin, just sucked his dick after he ate your pussy.”

Okay, now I’m really blushing, so much so that I squeal and lean forward, hiding my face behind my hair. “Stop it!” I protest.

“What? Am I wrong? That’s what happened, isn’t it?”

My cheeks are burning now as I think back to him going down on me and how that first flick of his tongue felt when he touched my secret pleasure spot—the one I didn’t even know existed until he taught me.

“Mmm–hmm.” I nod, still hiding my face from her.

“And you seriously swallowed too?” she asks with disbelief. Her words bring it all back. The warmth, the power of his spray, the way I kept my mouth over his cock and my head down while we came together…

…It was beautiful.

I nod again. My body’s starting to warm up. “I don’t think I can talk about this much more,” I say softly. “Just thinking about what we did is…”

“Turning you on?” Sasha finishes for me.

“Yeah.”

“Well, that makes sense,” she laughs. “I’d be turned on too if I’d had his cock in my mouth.”

My head snaps up, and I glare at her. “Hey! You can’t say that!”

Sasha smirks at me like an older sister. “Aw, somebody’s jealous. Don’t worry, sweetie, I won’t steal him from you.”

With a heavy sigh, I slump back and stare up at the ceiling. I’m lying on my back, but I feel like I’m being swept away with the wind, twirling around high up in the apex of a tornado with no clue when I’m going to land—or if I’ll survive.

My mind is all over the place, replaying what Clark and I did at his office and what we’ll do in two days when I see him again, but there’s one horrible thought that’s slithered in like a mean little worm, bringing with it a sense of misgiving that feels like a cold hand squishing up my organs.

“What if I can’t be the woman he wants me to be?” I whimper.

“What do you mean?”

The hand in my stomach tightens, and I close my eyes, trying to fight the doubt threatening to take over. “I mean, he’s this big, tall, handsome, experienced man, and I’m this twenty-one-year-old who doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing, and what if I can’t—”

“Stop,” Sasha snaps. I open my eyes to her frowning at me. “Why are you saying this?”

“I’m just trying to be realistic,” I reply. “Sasha, I have real feelings for him. And what if things don’t work out? What if I can’t please him?”

Sasha moves over and sits beside me. She puts her hand on my knee and gives me that look you get when someone is about to give you a speech about life. I brace myself. I’m already on the verge of a panic attack, and I don’t know if I can take this right now.

“I’m just trying to be nice when I say this,” she says slowly, keeping her voice neutral. “But be careful about catching feelings too quickly with this guy.”

“I know, I know—”

“You just did things with him you’ve never done before, and it’s going to be really easy to think you’re falling in love.”

My eyes sting as they start to pool up with tears. That cold hand in my stomach moves up to my heart and squeezes, and I have to fight not to cry out. I’m probably being dramatic, but it’s like those orgasms Clark gave me have left me as nothing but a big pool of emotion. And when I think about how I pleasured him, how he looked at me, how he held me, all I can think about is wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. And not being able to would kill me.

“Remember that guy I fell for last year?” Sasha asks. “Jerry? The pre-med guy? How he told me he was single and loved me but then I found out he was married and his wife keyed my car?”

“Yeah…” I nod.

She gently brushes my hair aside. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all.”