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"She was very clear," Blaidd added, "that she was looking forward to watching us suffer if it came to pass."

So, he had done the only thing left. "So, I kept my distance"—his voice dropped—"and hated myself for it every step of the way."

***

No one spoke because there was nothing left to accuse him of.

Only things to grieve.

And then...

"If that is so, then why did you bring Rowena into the pack?" asked Sion.

"You know a wounded wolf found near pack borders must be offered aid," Blaidd said. "That is law. There was no question of leaving her."

"I didn't know what she was," he admitted, drawing a slow breath. "When I found her, I am sure her hair was dark and her eyes were brown. I didn't look too closely; I was focused on the wound, on getting her somewhere safe."

He passed a tired hand over his eyes. "It was only after I brought her into the pack that I noticed how closely she resembled Eira." He shook his head once.

Guilt crept into his voice as if he should have known to be on guard.

"I have not been much of a father," he said quietly, his gaze dropping. "So, when Eira asked if she could stay in our house, I gave in."

He looked up again, steady now. "I never had any interest in Rowena," Blaidd said, desperately trying to convince them. "None. She did not draw me. She did not tempt me. She barely registered because all I could think of was that the eight years were almost over. I could be the lifemate Fae deserved. We could have cubs. Finally, this unending nightmare would be over."

A pause.

"It was only before the last time I left," he continued, "that something about her began to unsettle me. Not anything she said—just…she touched my arm and it made my skin crawl. There was this look in her eye. I was confused that she was interested in me when I already had a mate. "

"Now you know all of it. Tell me the truth…are you all hiding her from me?" he asked with a roughened voice.

But their expressions were grim.

And that, more than anything, told him it was already too late.

Silphium* - a now supposedly extinct plant. Classical sources describe its use as a powerful medicinal herb. Most notably, silphium was used as a contraceptive and abortifacient; small doses were believed to prevent pregnancy, while larger doses could terminate it.

Chapter 18

Blaidd shifted abruptly and painfully.

The movement tore a low sound from his throat as half-healed wounds protested, the skin along his arms pulling and splitting beneath the bandages. He ignored it, dragging himself upright with shaking determination.

"I need to see her," he said hoarsely.

Lisna was on her feet instantly. "Blaidd—"

"She will suffer," he pressed on as panic made his words run together. "As I will. I need to reach her before the next moon."

Maxen sighed. "Sit down."

Blaidd didn't seem to hear him.

"Where have you hidden her?" he demanded, eyes flashing, the wolf rising too close to the surface. "You've hidden her from me, haven't you? Is she with her parents?"

"We are not hiding her," Sion snapped, stepping forward. "Calm down."

Blaidd's gaze swung to him with anger blazing in his eyes, and then his whole body seemed to slump back.