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‘Fuck. Right.’ She breathed deeply, ‘C’mon then. Let’s hear it,’ she said, as if she couldn’t deal with another episode of the Harriette Hope Saga.
‘I might have shagged Jamie Jenkins last night,’ I blurted.
Claire gasped and then covered her mouth. ‘Wait. Might have? What? Were you drunk?’
I felt my shoulders twitch, ‘OK, no, I did shag him,’ I admitted, knowing I had only added the ‘might’ in there to make myself feel better.
‘OK.’ Claire snorted. ‘Where? What the fuck, Harri!’
I rolled my eyes, ‘On my mum’s couch!’
She erupted into laughter. ‘No way! What?’
‘Stop,’ I moaned, sitting beside her on the bed. ‘Look, we had this great night at the Edinburgh markets, and we kissed, it was lovely, and I suppose one thing led to another and . . .’
‘And . . . you took him home and pumped him on your maw’s couch!’
‘Basically, yeah,’ I replied.
‘OK. Well, how was it?’ Claire probed; just like her mother, she needed all the deets.
I felt the heat rush to my face, thinking of exactly how it was, ‘Yeah. It was . . . amazing, I guess. Like unbelievable actually. But . . . I’m married, Claire!’ I covered my roasting face with my hands and heard her giggle. ‘What the fuck am I thinking?’
‘Right, look,’ she began. ‘This isn’t the end of the world. Rupert’s been shagging his little side piece, which means you can legit have fun while you’re up here too.’
‘But it felt like more than that,’ I huffed. ‘It wasn’t like Joe Ferguson; I could tell it meant something to Jamie.’
She raised her shoulders as if to say, ‘Of course it did.’
‘But I love my old life, my home, my husband. Ultimately, I want that life back. I’d be stupid to want anything less,’ I said, but Jamie’s cool, cheeky smile kept flashing in my mind.
‘Well, if that’s what you want, end whatever this is with Jamie,’ she said, smiling, but she really didn’t look convinced.
‘What are you not saying?’ I asked.
‘I don’t think going back somewhere, to someone who made you so miserable, is necessarily the answer. I mean, I want you here, obviously. But is staying in Glasgow really offering you less? Your family is here, you’ve got friends . . .’
I sighed and lay back on my bed and stared up at the dusty ceiling. Then a thud later, and Claire was lying back beside me. She turned her head and smiled. ‘So tell me, how big is Jamie’s dick? Because my ex played football with him and said he saw it in the changing rooms and it was impressive . . .’ Her eyes were glowing for the gossip.
I burst out laughing. ‘I don’t kiss and tell . . .’
She nudged me hard, ‘C’mon! I’d tell you!’
‘OK.’ I giggled, sitting back up. ‘It’s big. Like . . . rolling pin big!’
Claire laughed loudly, squeezing my pillow excitedly. ‘Yassss!’ She jumped up. ‘Well . . . let’s be real, that’s your problem right there. I mean, are you seriously giving that big bad boy up?’ She opened my bedroom door. ‘I need to give the iron to my mum, but text me, OK?’
I nodded. ‘Thanks.’
She closed the door, then reopened it a second later.
‘But, Harri, don’t lead the poor guy on, just be honest that you might go home. It saves everyone in the long run.’ She dipped her head with a soft smile on her face and closed the door back over.
I knew she was right.
I knew exactly how it felt to be the other person.
*
