Page 49

The door creaked open. Jamie ducked slightly as he stepped in, like the ceiling needed to make room for him. He filled the entire space. My teenage bedroom suddenly felt about three inches wide.

‘How you doing?’ he asked, softer than I expected. He was in a black Under Armour tracksuit, and his face was still annoyingly handsome. Slight stubble, perfect jawline, dark eyes.

I swallowed. ‘Yeah. Good, good.’ Well, there was my first lie of the day. ‘What’s up?’

Jamie paused, then sighed, rubbing his chin. ‘Can I . . .’ He pointed to the bed.

My brain stalled. Bed. Is that weird? I wondered. No. He’s just sitting.

‘Aye,’ I said – and then immediately didn’t know what to do with myself. He plonked down on the mattress. I hovered. OK. Brilliant. I looked completely awkward. So I paced for a second, then sat down beside him.

This felt too close. But if I moved now, it would be weird, so I stayed completely still. Like I was playing musical statues. His leg brushed mine – barely, but I felt hyper-aware of everything. This must be what Spider-Man feels like, I thought. Fuck, it wouldn’t actually surprise me if that’s what was coming next in my fucking life saga. A lethal spider bite.

‘Listen . . .’ he said, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘I think I owe you an apology.’

I forced myself to look at him properly. Big mistake. Up close, he was worse. Better. Or whatever. His eyes held mine, that gaze thing he does. Fuck, he smelled so good as well, slight overkill with the Paco Rabanne, but it worked.

‘I was rude to you,’ he said. ‘I misjudged you.’

My arms crossed automatically. Full defence mode.

‘I thought you were a stuck-up cow, to be honest,’ he blurted.

I was taken aback, but then my head tilted. ‘Well, you’re not entirely wrong,’ I said. ‘I can be a stuck-up cow.’ We both smiled at that.

‘I don’t think you meant to be,’ he said. He was looking at me so directly it made me want to launch myself out the window.

‘Well.’ I shrugged, breaking eye contact before I combusted. ‘I thought you were a giant ned.’

He grinned. ‘Oh, I definitely am.’

‘I know you are! It’s intimidating,’ I said.

‘You don’t look intimidated,’ he replied, his eyes cheekily scanning me.

I snorted. ‘That’s because I hide it well. Internally, I’m screaming.’

He leaned back slightly, but his leg stayed where it was. Still touching mine. Still not moving.

‘You didn’t seem like that last night,’ he said. My eyes flicked back to his.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I asked.

‘I don’t mean it in a bad way. You were different,’ he said. ‘With Lucy. The kids. All the punters. I really liked that version of you.’

I looked away, suddenly very interested in a stray thread on my washed-out duvet cover. ‘Yeah, well. Don’t get used to it,’ I muttered.

‘Too late,’ he said quickly.

I glanced back at him. He wasn’t joking. And I didn’t know what to do with that.

There was a slight pause between us.

‘So, is that it then?’ I shrugged. ‘Do you feel better now you’ve cleared the air?’

My phone lit up. I turned the screen over immediately.

‘Everything OK?’ Jamie asked, nodding towards my phone.