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‘So, I won’t need you today, Pen!’ I grinned widely. ‘Have the afternoon off, and Rupey can fill me in on the meeting.’

‘Oh, erm . . . right. No problem, Harriette, thank you,’ she said, keeping her eyes low.

‘See you later then,’ I added, with a huge grin, making clear that her presence was no longer wanted.

Penelope shuffled towards the front door and I followed close behind.

‘We can do the tree reveal and baubles tomorrow,’ I said. ‘The Christmas countdown is well and truly on, and I have so many ideas for decorating.’

‘Sounds wonderful,’ she said, but I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

‘Bye, Pen!’ I closed the door firmly and headed back inside, a cold shiver running through me.

Rupert was rubbing his temples in the kitchen where I’d left him. Something felt off. I started thinking back to my late-night rendezvous with Adam, replaying the whole thing in my head. What if someone had spotted me? I knew I’d been careful, but he drove a fucking red Lambo – what if he’d been recognised? I felt my chest tighten and quickly headed upstairs, pulling the secret phone from my drawer and slipping it into my back pocket. I had banished Adam’s premature ejaculation from my mind, but what if he’d messaged Rupert and told him about last night? He had wanted to see me again, after all, even if the man practically apologised for disappointing me before he’d even pulled up his boxers, for Christ’s sake. The realisation came crashing down that I didn’t actually know Adam very well at all, not well enough to trust him with this secret.

Fuck.

I walked back downstairs in my white faux-fur coat and matching hat, smiling when Rupert turned to look at me.

‘Going out?’ he asked, distracted.

I laughed. ‘To the hairdresser’s, remember?’

He sighed, as if he couldn’t quite concentrate.

‘What’s going on, Rupey? Are you OK?’ I walked up to him and rested my head on his shoulder. ‘Did the meeting go all right?’

Rupert paused, as if he was thinking what to say next.

‘Everything’s fine, Harriette. You’d better get to your appointment,’ he said, sitting forward and forcing my head away from his shoulder.

‘Right.’ I sighed, then pushed my shoulders back. ‘If you’re sure, darling,’ I said. ‘Will you check on the cookies in five? They should be ready then.’

He grumbled back, and I turned to leave. I was starting to feel flustered. He was acting weird, but why?

What if I’ve fucked up my perfect life for a frozen shitty shag with no orgasm?

I stepped into the hall, then remembered my phone was still on the tripod, headed back through, lifted it off and called out, ‘Bye, love you!’ before shutting the door.

He murmured something back that was so half-arsed I wondered immediately if he did, in fact, still love me.

I stepped out onto the icy driveway and got into my car. My gorgeous fur coat was so big and fluffy that I had to move the seat back a few inches before I could start the engine. My head was in overdrive, trying to figure out the problem. Either I’d been caught out, or Rupey was all set to leave me for that stupid bint. Neither of which I was willing to accept. He wasn’t about to ruin everything. No matter what. I had worked too hard to create this life, to make my marriage perfect, to showcase it to the world. I was not about to let these two make me a laughing stock in front of the entire universe.

As I drove, I rummaged through my back pocket and turned on the burner phone. I let it sit for a few seconds before a message came through:

Adam: Sorry for the quickness tonight. Let me make it up to you?

I stared at the message in horror, feeling instantly sick. The man lasted less time than a TikTok recipe reel, and he expects a second date. I picked up the phone and replied:

Me: You haven’t told anyone, have you?

My heart was thumping. If this got to the media, I’d have to deny everything. There was no way I could be associated with another man. What was I thinking? Then a surge of rage came over me, thinking of Rupert and Penelope. They had caused this. They’d forced me into it.

Adam: Of course not. When are you free, babe? X

My breathing settled as I read his words. Thank fuck. He was fine, he was normal. I let out a small laugh, realising I’d probably overreacted to this whole situation. Maybe my husband just had a migraine – he was prone to them after long meetings. He’d probably encountered one listening to Penelope’s high-pitched laughter, which grated on me after a while for sure. I felt a smile creep onto my face, shrugged off the morning’s anxiety and continued the drive to my London hairdresser’s.

By the time I reached my friend Jay’s salon, I was running five minutes late owing to the usual traffic chaos. I parked the car quickly and rushed in.