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‘There won’t be a gig tonight,’ Jay said, not looking up from staring at his shoes.
‘Oh no! They don’t have burst pipes again, do they? I’m sure there’s somewh—’
‘I’ve got to go back to uni.’
Frankie was worried. Jay looked quite pale and was acting so distant. ‘Has something happened?’ She reached out a hand toward him. He took it, clinging to it fiercely for a moment before suddenly dropping it as if she’d burnt him.
‘Are you coming back?’
‘No.’ Jay finally looked up. His face was emotionless and Frankie started to get a hollow ache in her chest. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
‘A scout from a record company heard our last gig and is keen to meet up with us and—’
Frankie gave out a little squeal of happiness. Her first instinct was to hug Jay, but his body language remained closed.
‘This is brilliant! Isn’t it?’ But from Jay’s demeanour, Frankie wasn’t sure it was. ‘What about Rocco?’
‘No, the company just want a four-piece.’
She laughed. ‘No! I mean, have you told him?’
‘Yeah.’
Frankie was still standing with a silly grin on her face but Jay acted like there had been a death in the family.
‘So, if it works out, I don’t think I’ll be back here,’ Jay said.
‘Until Easter?’
‘No.’
‘Summer?’
‘No, I doubt I’ll be back, ever. If it works out I’ll drop out of my course.’
Frankie felt sick; her stomach in knots.
Jay continued talking, not looking directly at her, but a little spot on the wall, slightly above her left shoulder.
‘Obviously this means I won’t see you again.’
Frankie felt like the floor was falling away. ‘Why? You’ll be back to see your mum. I can come and visit you,’ Frankie said faintly. ‘I’ll see you at one of your concerts. Front row, as always.’ She tried to smile but her lips felt unnaturally stretched over her teeth as her mouth had gone dry.
‘It’s best we don’t make any plans like that. I’ll be busy, working flat out. And then touring, probably. Out of the way places.’
‘But…’ Frankie wanted to blurt out that they’d slept together and that had surely meant something, wanted to remind him he’d told her he’d missed her, but she didn’t; instead, she finished with ‘…we’re friends.’
‘To make this work I need to be single-minded about my music. I don’t have time for friends or,’ he cleared his throat slightly, ‘a girlfriend, or anything like that. I shouldn’t have led you on, that was a mistake.’
‘You thought what happened between us was a mistake?’
‘No! No, it was… it was… That wasn’t a mistake. No. But this news has made me realise I can’t afford to be distracted so I’m going to make a clean break from everyone and…’ Jay took a breath, ‘and I’d like to ask you not to get in touch with me.’
Frankie felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her body. She knew if she were more like Valentina she’d kick up a fuss, call him out for being up himself and an arsehole. Valentina would tell him off for being selfish and egotistical. But she wasn’t Valentina, she was Frankie and Frankie didn’t cause scenes.
Frankie could feel tears forming. She sniffed loudly and tried to wipe one away in case Jay saw it. But she needn’t have worried as Jay wasn’t looking at her, he continued to focus on the patch of wall behind her shoulder.
‘What about Rocco?’ Frankie asked.