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‘Isn’t it Hobbits that have numerous breakfasts?’

‘And pregnant women, although I can’t reach down to shave my legs properly anymore so I’m probably part Hobbit now anyway,’ Valentina said and sighed, which turned into a noisy yawn.

‘Another sleepless night?’

‘Yup, between bubba bouncing on my bladder all night, atrocious heartburn, restless legs and my head bursting with so much to think about and plan, sleep evaded me. Again. But, it did mean I could think about your business plan.’

‘I see,’ Frankie said, trying to ignore the van hitting all the numerous potholes and the effect it would have on the already much put-upon suspension of her ancient vehicle.

‘I thought an all-dogs-in-at-the-deep-end approach would be best. No intervention from us, just get all the dogs together and see what happens.’

‘I can imagine what would happen if one of them was in heat!’

‘Well, we can be a little bit selective, I suppose. And then, after the initial group date, we can whittle it down to like-minded sub-groups. Now, how do we approach it from an LGBTQ plus angle?’

‘I have absolutely no idea…’

‘Would it be rude to ask the owner’s preference? I mean, what is and isn’t politically correct?’

‘Tina, having never done anything like this before, well, not knowingly, I have no idea of the etiquette involved.’

‘I mean, when keen owners get in touch we could ask them what they want out of it, in a roundabout way and pay attention to how they play the pronoun game…’

‘Tina?’ Frankie said as she pulled up to the house of the first dog she needed to collect. ‘You’re saying “we” a lot.’

‘Oh my God, I’m not missing out on this! It’ll be a riot!’

‘Are you bored?’

Valentina groaned down the phone. ‘Horrendously so! I stopped getting new clients at work ages ago because I’ll be going off on maternity leave soon and I’ve spent the last couple of weeks doing handovers for all my existing ones. I’ve nothing to do apart from waddle about the office like a spare part. My boss, Todd, keeps suggesting I leave early or start late because he’s worried I’m getting too tired or I’m about to keel over, head first, into the shredder. That’s why I’m not going in until later today.’

‘Todd sounds really understanding.’ Frankie switched the engine off.

‘He is. I know I should be grateful, but he doesn’t seem to realise that I’ve nothing to fill my empty void of a life with if I’m not at work. If I start thinking too much about the future I feel overwhelmed. And I can’t even begin to imagine what giving birth will be like! So, to stop me overthinking, I have to concentrate on things like your Canine Cupids Classes.’

‘Is that what we’re calling it.’

‘Yes. It’s cute.’

‘And where are we going to do it?’

‘Well, your place, surely? Outdoors if you think that’s better.’

Frankie rested her forehead on the steering wheel imagining the destruction if it was indoors. ‘Yes, outdoors is definitely better.’

‘See, it’s perfect.’

Frankie thought “perfect” was stretching it a little.

‘I’ve been working on a poster, and Dad’s getting a non-disclaimer form drawn up. Nick can do the social media stuff. We could even do a special money-off voucher for a first date at Matteo’s Trattoria! I’m sure Nonno would love to be involved.’

It seemed Valentina had thought of all the angles. ‘Speaking of Nonno, did you think he looked a bit maudlin last night?’ Frankie said.

‘Hmm,’ her sister said as she crunched whatever it was she was eating for second breakfast, or maybe she was onto third by now, Frankie mused as she waited for her sister to swallow and reply. ‘I didn’t notice.’

‘I caught him looking at the photo of him and Nonna. He looked sad.’

‘He’s bound to miss her more at family gatherings.’