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She dabbed at her eyes. She hadn’t cried yet, but the sound of Tess’s voice had brought an onslaught of fresh tears. “I did make you a promise.”
Tess chuckled. “Girl, trust me, I cannot wait to hear all about Leo and his magical dick, but maybe not at five in the morning?”
“Not…that promise,” Alana explained.
Tess was quiet for a moment. Then she heard the squeaking of a mattress and the soft closing of a door. “Where are you?”
“I’m maybe a half mile from home, sitting on the curb. And I’m calling to ask if you wanted to come with me.” She bit her lip. “I didn’t want to, you know. I see how happy you are with Cal and your life here. But a promise is a promise, and I do not want to abandon you ever again. You mean everything to me.”
“Lana.” She could practically hear what was happening with Tess, the way her friend would pull on her curls at the crown of her head when she was frustrated. The tight squeeze of her eyes. “Why? Why are you leaving again?”
“This time Freya asked me to.”
“Excuse me?”
“She said she didn’t want to wait for me to disappoint them when I decided to run, so I might as well leave now.” She blew out a breath, letting the tears fall at this point. “I don’t want to cause her any more pain, Tess. She looks awful. Nothing improved there. If she is going to heal better with me gone, then maybe I need to give her the space. Maybe my presence really is a burden to her.”
“That’s utter bullshit and you know it.”
“Maybe. But I don’t know how else to take care of her, or the rest of them.”
“That’s also not true. Need I remind you of the ways that you helped your family save the farm this summer? Need I also remind you that you fell in love as well?”
“I want her to heal, Tess,” she admitted.
Tess took a deep breath, the speaker on the phone rattling as she exhaled. “Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you feel the need to have to be perfect in front of everyone?”
“I don’t know if it’s a need to be perfect—”
“I do,” Tess interrupted. “You’re afraid to be vulnerable. That’s why you ran. You couldn’t fathom dealing with your grief around everyone when you spent your whole life being the rock they needed. Throughout your mother’s sickness, you were the glue. Then when you knew you couldn’t be that anymore, you ran.” She clicked her tongue. “The same thing is happening here. You want to do the right thing by them. But have you ever thought about what the right thing is for you?”
“No,” she whispered. “Never.”
“And now that we’re thinking about it, do you know? What the right thing is?”
An image of Leo popped in her head. It wasn’t of him in his bed, or even in his kitchen the morning he insisted on making her crêpes on a lazy Sabbath morning, the two of them still in their underwear. It was an image of him working in the field. Bear was at his feet, sniffing around in the dirt. Leo was sweating and dirty and looked tired. But he was also content.
“Will you come?” she whispered. “Or at least give me a ride to the station.”
Tess exhaled. “Don’t move, stay where you are.”
She thanked her, then hung up the phone. Then she crossed her arms on her lap and rested her head.
Twenty minutes later, she heard the rumbling of an engine. She assumed it was Tess, because not a single other vehicle had appeared in over an hour. But instead, when she looked up, she saw Leo exiting in his truck.
26
She moved to stand, but Leo was faster. He ran up to her and got on his knees. His face was red from racing here, and she could still see the crease of a pillow on his cheek from sleep. He placed his hands on her thighs.
“I-I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
He shook his head, then reached into his back pocket. Alana watched as he pulled out a small black box.
“Leo, what are you—”
When he opened it, it wasn’t what she immediately expected. It was something far greater.
Nestled within the small velvet box was her mother’s opal ring.
