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His place was small but cozy—a living room with a two-seater couch, a television, a coffee table, and a small bookshelf used as an end table. Along the back wall was an open kitchenette with a microwave, a toaster oven, and a two-burner stove. Honey jumped out of Kevin’s arms and beelined for the bedroom that was just big enough to fit his bed. She placed the focaccia on the coffee table next to the bags of junk food she’d requested and followed her dog, peering into the tiny bathroom with a standing shower.
“Intimate,” she chaffed as she meandered through his apartment. She made her way back to the living room, watching as Kevin pushed the coffee table to the side. He’d spread blankets out on the floor and tossed pillows to the center.
“Do you have a bread knife so I can cut this?” she asked.
“Top left drawer. I also have wineglasses in the cupboard above the microwave.”
“Wineglasses, huh? I fully prepared for us to drink out of mugs.”
“I will have you know that I have wineglasses and whiskey glasses. It’s not very impressive to the ladies to drink out of mugs.”
She placed the glasses down on the counter and turned toward him with a smirk. “Ladies, huh?”
“I’m not celibate, Jess. I can pull the ladies.”
“With wineglasses.”
“Now you’re the one being insufferable,” he rumbled, pouring her a glass.
She sliced the focaccia. “So how many, then? One, five, ten?”
“Are we really on the topic of how many partners I’ve had?”
She shrugged, licking the olive oil and tomato juices on her fingers. “I’m kind of curious.”
He remained silent as he took a sip of his wine, then reached for two plates in the cupboard and handed her one. “Six,” he finally answered.
Her gut clenched. “Wow, six. Did any of them ever—”
“Go anywhere? Nah. I also haven’t been with someone in a year. You might be into having a one-night stand, but after having a few myself, I realized that I’m not a one-and-done kind of guy. I’m more of the commit-for-a-lifetime kind.”
She hummed, following him with plates and glasses in hands to their sanctuary on the floor. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Committing for a lifetime? How would you know?”
“Nine years feels like a lifetime.”
He took a sip and shook his head, placing his glass down on the coffee table beside them. “It’s not, though. Just because you dated the same guy since eighth grade doesn’t mean you know what it feels like to commit for a lifetime.”
Her face flushed. “Oh yeah, and how would you know? What do you know about commitment and long-term relationships? I’ve had my fill of sacrifice and compromise and sharing everything I own to realize that it’s not something I enjoy.”
Kevin tapped a finger on his propped-up knee, thinking it through for a beat. “You’re right, I don’t know. But I’ve always assumed that a person is willing to sacrifice and compromise and share if they love the other person. Those things are easier to deal with when you’re with your person. Yet you make it sound like chains.”
Her fingers trembled. She gripped her glass and took a long sip, the wine smooth on her tongue. It tasted ten times better than the three-dollar stuff she used to buy at Post Road.
Kevin didn’t wait for her to give him some kind of retort. Instead, he tapped her knee, his hazel eyes bright despite the dim lighting of his apartment. “Have you heard from him?”
“No,” she whispered. It should bother her that she hadn’t heard from her ex of nine years that entire month. He was radio silent. He didn’t even reach out to her about the opening of her bakery. Surprisingly, she didn’t care.
“Jess, we’re friends, so can I be honest with you about something?”
She sucked in a breath, then nodded.
He took the glass out of her grasp with gentle hands and placed it beside his, then brushed her trembling fingers with his own. “Being with him for that long doesn’t mean you were treated well, sweetheart. You may have loved each other in the beginning, but watching from the sidelines…I could tell. You were unhappy. And he didn’t do anything to make it better for you.”
Tears leaked from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. He cupped her face and brushed them away with his thumbs. “That relationship probably felt like chains. But I think maybe if you open yourself up to it someday, you’ll find someone you’re willing to sacrifice for and compromise with and all the rest without a second thought. Someone you can love, and who will wholly love you back.”
She released a jagged breath, and emotion built up in her throat. She closed her eyes. “I’m so mean to you, yet you keep being nice to me. It doesn’t seem fair.”
