Page 67

Before she laced together the right words, she felt his warm hand on her chin, turning it toward his face. “You have whipped cream on your nose.”

He wiped it off with his thumb but didn’t immediately move his hand, still cupping her chin. His face was so close, his breath on her lips, the smell of spiced chocolate swirling between them. Her words melted away as she let his warmth seep into her. She wanted him to close the gap, to taste his lips again.

The back door slid open with an abrupt slam, causing the two of them to jump, dribbles of hot chocolate and whipped cream spilling onto their laps.

“It’s SNOWING!” Bea screamed, running out onto the lawn, the cuffs of her pajama pants getting soaked as she twirled.

Car lights beamed from Rory’s driveway, stealing the moment’s perfect darkness. She glanced in a panic to see who it was, wondering if it was Jay surprising her. But she relaxed when she saw Gabi stepping from the car, holding a box of leftover pie.

“I should, um—” she stammered.

“Yeah, okay.”

She stepped away, mumbling to him about thanking his mom again before hastily heading back home. Once she was inside, she shuffled away from the windows and leaned against the wall.

“I’m getting comfy and then we’re going to eat this entire pumpkin pie,” Gabi said cheerfully as she made her way up the stairs, oblivious to Rory’s anxious state.

Rory was frozen to the wall, trying to get control of herself. Those few moments with Tyler were the most exhilarating she’d had since she kissed him last month. She’d never felt that way about Jay. He was a good kisser, but he never left her breathless. Tyler didn’t even kiss her tonight and it had her pulse skyrocketing.

She reached for her phone, opening up her last text with Jay. Without giving herself a moment to overthink it, she started typing.

This isn’t working anymore. I’m sorry.

She hit Send, then turned off her phone.

Second Semester

Chapter Nineteen

What do you mean this isn’t working anymore?

Rory shook her head as she typed back, exasperated. When she turned her phone on the day after Christmas, she still had no response from him. It took Jay two more days to finally say something.

As you said, we’re just having fun. But I don’t think it’s fun anymore.

We could make it fun, you know…

She choked out another laugh.

I’ve decided I’m saving that for someone I’m actually dating.

Are you trying to force me into a relationship?

No, I’m giving you an out.

Rory watched the gray bubbles as Jay typed, then erased, then kept typing. She didn’t wait for him to respond and instead kept going.

You have clearly been busy with stuff at school, and I’m happy for you. But I need something more. I’m not a hookup kind of girl. I don’t deserve to come in second place.

It took Jay several minutes to respond.

Who’s the guy?

She scoffed, then turned off her phone again. Yes. It was also partly about him. But after mulling over their conversation throughout winter break, she realized it was so much more than that. For a while, Rory had felt like Jay was choosing her, that she was his baby and all of that. But the last few weeks since he’d showed up on her doorstep, he’d become distant, and when he was around her, all he wanted was to get physical. Something else was going on, and she didn’t feel like accepting crumbs.

Even if what she wanted was never going to be available to her. Not if Tyler and Zoe were going to keep up this whole fake dating thing.

So, she did the only thing she could fathom handling at the moment—her work for the yearbook. Thankfully there was still so much to do, and now that she was taking classes so she could execute her designs on the computer instead of waiting for someone else to do it, she was able to bury herself in her tasks.