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Find myself.

Find Ashter.

Push everything else away.

Except the life here didn't stop at the edges of a room or even the garrison walls. It pressed from every direction, dense enough that trying to isolate individual signals only revealed more underneath them.

My breath caught.

No.

I closed my eyes.

That made it worse.

Without sight, there was nothing to anchor the sensation. The jungle became an enormous living mass at the edge of my awareness while the harbor churned with fish, plants, people and things I couldn't immediately identify.

I needed to shut it out.

I knew how. I'd done it thousands of times. Except the thought itself became another thing I couldn't hold onto because somebody passed behind me and I felt the contraction of every muscle in their legs while three birds launched from a roof overhead and something beneath the nearest dock opened six sets of gills at once.

My hand found my throat before I realized I'd moved it, fingers pressing against bare skin, searching for a weight that hadn't been there in weeks.

"Jade."

Someone said my name.

I knew the voice.

Couldn't place it.

"Jade."

Closer.

I opened my eyes.

Nykos stood directly in front of me.

Too close.

Normally I would have stepped backwards. His body blocked most of the harbor from view, dark hair shifting slightly in the humid breeze while his expression held none of the usual irritation. He wasn't touching me. Just standing there.

"Look at me."

"I am."

"Properly."

I wanted to tell him that wasn't an instruction with measurable parameters. I couldn't find enough breath.

His gaze held mine.

"Forget everything behind me."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."