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Nykos's expression tightened, although his voice was quieter when he answered.

"Yes."

"Without asking?"

"Yes."

That sounded suspiciously simple.

Alex leaned toward me. "You could spend the next six hours doing nothing at all."

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. People enjoy it."

"People also sleep on grass."

All four men looked at me.

Alex blinked. "What?"

"Nothing."

Recreational grass sleeping, it seemed, remained a mystery for another day.

I finished the fruit on my plate while the conversation loosened up again. Alex wanted to see the knife wall once I mentioned it, which I refused. Nykos wanted to know whether my block against telepathy also stopped deliberate intrusion, and I told him that could wait, since Corian had already handed me the excuse. Halver asked whether Ashter needed food brought to the room, and when I said no, since Ashter stole whatever he wanted anyway or just went hunting in the forest.

By the time I stood, the tight feeling behind my eyes had disappeared.

The collar and white control crystal remained beside my plate.

I picked up both. Nobody stopped me. Nobody said a word.

I left the kitchen, crossed the common room, and returned to my bedroom, closing the door before their conversation faded into the background.

The room looked just as I'd left it.

I crossed to the desk and set the control crystal down, then looked at the collar in my other hand. For a moment I didn't know where to put it. The obvious answer was a drawer, somewhere out of sight until I decided whether I ever wanted to use it again. Instead, my attention drifted toward the small knife at the end of the second row.

Janus's knife.

I walked over and ran a finger along the faded leather grip.

When I'd been eight, I'd wanted something and been told I couldn't have it, so I'd waited until nobody was watching and taken it anyway. I'd spent most of my life learning that if I wanted something for myself, stealing a tiny piece of it was usually easier than asking.

A knife.

An extra hour in a training room. Five minutes alone somewhere nobody expected me to be. Small rebellions hidden inside schedules other people controlled.

I looked down at the collar in my hand. Today I hadn't stolen anything. I hadn't slipped through a door, lied to a Master or waited until nobody was watching. I'd been offered a choice in front of four people, after spending far too long trying to work out whether there was a trap hidden inside it.

The bare skin around my throat still felt strange when I swallowed.

I placed the collar on the desk beside its control crystal rather than hiding either of them away.

Then I looked toward the bedroom door.

I could stay in here, go back and listen to Alex argue about food ownership, find the rear training yard, or walk through Residential and try to work out how everyone else knew where they were going. I could do nothing, though that sounded like a waste of several good hours.