Page 134

I don’t dare move or reveal what his mere touch can do to me.

“Somatic,” he repeats as his caress travels over my collarbone, then to my chest, continuing his torturous path down to my heart. He presses his fingers there until the patter of my heart thunders in response. “Your body remembers what your mind refuses to.”

Is that why my blood is pounding in my ears?

I remember when Arwan had taken me to the springs, and what he had done with Godric. That had been… sensual. More with Godric than with Arwan, but he had definitely been involved.

But my body seems to remember something more with Arwan that I cannot.

“Did you have sex with me in my dreams?” I blurt.

His blue eyes flash up to mine, then he grins. “You begged me to,” he purrs. “But I didn’t.”

My blush strengthens until I feel like my face is burning.

“Liar,” I hiss, but his smile says he’s absolutely not lying. At least about the begging part.

How embarrassing.

“I couldn’t have sex with you, not without risking your life.”

I go silent.

That also wasn’t a lie. There’s a dangerous reason he won’t cross that line with me, but I’m not sure why he’s so worried that sex with him might kill me, especially when I survived both Godric and Ze’ev.

“What can you remember?” he asks as he finally releases me from his touch, and I feel like I can draw in the first breath I’ve taken in minutes.

A shiver runs up my spine as I recall what had occurred just moments before I woke up.

The time I had almost died.

Then how Arwan had been there, altering a childhood memory from what had actually happened.

“I woke up drenched with the bathwater,” I told him after I had recounted the full sequence of events, from my father’s admonishment to my brother’s punishment in the bathtub.

Finally, I refocus on Arwan’s face and find him deep in concentration as he listens to me.

“And that’s all you can recall?” he asks as if there should be something else.

I nod. “That’s it.”

He hums, then stands and begins to pace. “You don’t feel safe. Your mind is protecting you from everything I’ve taught you. Even though it’s in there, and you can defend yourself, you can’t pull up those memories on command. That’ll complicate matters.”

I mull that over, but no matter how I consider the words, they don’t make sense. “What happened in my dreams?” I ask.

He continues to pace, so I snag the edge of his cuff and draw him closer. The air wafts over me and carries with it his delicious scent of bergamot and cardamom, making a memory flutter at the edges of my mind before it vanishes again. My tongue flashes out to wet my lips.

“What did you just feel?” Arwan asks. His voice has gone a pitch lower, and now he’s pressed between my legs.

I don’t even know how we got into this position, but his knee digs into the bed, propping me on his thigh, while he spreads his fingers on either side of the mattress.

He’s leaning over me, his dark hair a curtain around his perfect face as I relax on my back and stare up at him.

Damn, he’s so pretty.

“Liliana,” he insists with a demanding growl to his words. It doesn’t have the same effect on me as Godric’s demand might, but when I squeeze my thighs together in response, his leg is there to stop me.

A whimper escapes me as he lifts his leg, putting pressure where my body seems to remember him.