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“Kit, it’s okay to forgive him.”

“No, I can’t,” I said quickly, standing and averting my face. My sister already saw too damn much.

“Well, it’s okay to like him, even if you don’t.”

Was it? It would make everything easier to compartmentalize the accident—assign it to Joey of the past—and let myself really like him.

But if I let myself like him, then I’d go to him, and I wouldn’t hold back. I’d kiss him this time, I’d touch him and taste him, and I’d still, deep down, blame him for the pain and grief that had torn through my family. The wounds that weren’t healed, that might never heal.

That wouldn’t be fair, would it?

No. It wouldn’t.

“I don’t know, Dakota,” I murmured. “It’s not that easy.”

“Isn’t it?” she said, voice soft. “I’m okay with Joey being…whatever you need him to be. If he’s your enemy, okay, that’s too bad, but I understand. But if you need him to be your friend…or…or something else, that’s okay, too.”

She was giving me her blessing, but I couldn’t take it.

It wouldn’t be fair to ask anything of him after the way I’d treated him.

But…I did owe him an apology. He was trying to make things right—as right as they could be—and I could respect that.

I’d go over to Joey’s, tell him I’d been wrong to treat him that way, and then I’d leave.

Nothing else had to happen.

CHAPTER 15

JOYRIDE

I was ravenous after a full workday at the New Horizons site. My parents were sticklers for always eating dinner at six, so by the time I’d showered off the dirt and grime, I’d missed it. But that was better. Every conversation with my dad turned into an interrogation about my life choices, anyway.

I dug through the refrigerator in my mom’s kitchen. My mini fridge back at the pool house was bare except for one stick of cheese and a couple of Sprites. I needed to go shopping, but working full time at Paws & Claws—and volunteering at New Horizons—wasn’t leaving me a lot of personal time.

I liked it that way. Less time to think.

Mom had left a plate of leftovers wrapped in plastic. My mouth watered. It looked like grilled salmon, glazed carrots, and asparagus. Tex’s voice sounded in my head. Steak is better. He was such a Texan.

I took out the plate, pulled off the plastic wrap, and heated it in the microwave.

When it was done, I hunched over the sink, scarfing the contents as fast as I could. I barely tasted it, but damn it was nice to put something warm in my stomach. The temperature had dropped a lot by the time I got home from Hayworth, where Carl Triton’s home had been.

“Well, goodness, at least you’re enjoying the dinner I made,” Mom said behind me.

I half turned from the sink, where I probably looked like Gollum crouching over his precious ring. “Mm.” I swallowed my last bite. “It was good.”

“You could have sat down at the table.”

“Sorry. I was just really hungry.”

She gave me a searching look. “It’s not because you’re trying to rush out of here before anyone sees you?”

I hesitated. It wasn’t like I’d set out to avoid them, but I was relieved when I could. “That’s not why.”

“Okay, good. You’ve been gone so much lately. I worry about you, Joey.”

“I’ve just been staying busy.”