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You’re making a fool of yourself. The barrier said to me. Completely ridiculous. Look at yourself. Flabby belly. See who’s dancing with your crush? One athlete after another. I hated that my brain talked to me that way. I would have long since forbidden anyone else to talk to me like that. But my inner self took liberties that no one else had the right to take.

Suddenly, Matt stroked Shane’s chest.

I was slightly nauseous. Still, I couldn’t blame anyone.

We’d been through this before. And Shane had been clear. It was fun for him. I understood that. Even though it hurt me. That’s where we differed. Which wasn’t a bad thing. There was no need to be identical.

Five months ago, I had stormed off in outrage and vowed never to look back.

But it wasn’t that simple. The days—the few weeks—here with Shane had shown me that I couldn’t just shake him off. Didn’t want to shake him off. I would have to find a way to deal with his ways.

Because the thought of giving him up was unbearable.

I hadn’t grown up particularly much since the summer. My insecurities were the same as they had been five months ago. But now that I’d had a taste of what it would be like to be close to Shane in some form every day, I didn’t want to let those insecurities hold me back anymore.

The reliability of his closeness was soothing. When I came home from the dinner shift at night, he was there. Not a single day had he stayed away from our cabin.

At least for the time we were here together, I had to—I wanted to—find a solution.

I forced myself to continue watching the dancing group. Shane caught Matt’s hands and held them tight. None of this dampened his beaming smile. He led Matt away from him without interrupting their dance.

My heart pounded wildly. That was—good.

Shane turned the trio so that he was facing me. Our eyes met, and he grinned broadly.

I was still completely overwhelmed by what had just happened and smiled timidly.

Shane said something to Matt before turning to the girl and winking at her.

He strode purposefully toward me. I almost expected him to pull me back onto the dance floor. Instead, he ran his hand over my upper arm, stepped behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Want to dance?” he whispered in my ear from behind.

He was obviously much more sober than at the last party.

I leaned into his embrace and thought about it. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to be what Shane needed. I wanted to be someone who suited Shane.

But it wouldn’t do any good, either for him or for me, to pretend. I shook my head.

“No,” I said, even though he probably couldn’t hear me.

Shane kissed my neck, and his breath tickled me there. “Is everything okay?” he asked. He accompanied his question by nibbling on the skin between my neck and shoulder.

I automatically replied, “Sure.”

“Hmm,” he continued to murmur in my neck.

I thought for a moment. I felt good. Extremely good. “Your colleagues are quite the peasants when it comes to cuisine, but I’ll let it slide. They don’t realize what high-quality products have gone into these little bites.” I pointed my chin toward the buffet.

Behind me, Shane laughed against my head. “I’m afraid that knowledge wouldn’t do any good.”

I snorted and pressed my back against him. “You can go back, you know? And dance and stuff.”

“Right now, I want a serving of Ruben. I’ll return to them in a minute.”

I shook my head. His words were pure balm. It reassured me to see that he didn’t have to make an effort to be with me. It was easy for me to believe his words. He was as relaxed with me as he was with his friends.

Shane ran his hand along my sides, moving slightly behind me and glimpsing over my shoulder. He pressed his cheek against mine, and the whole situation reminded me of a school dance.