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Ruben paused and eyed me with worried eyes. “Have you changed your mind?”

I quickly tightened my grip around him and held him tighter. “No. But let’s not rush things. You have to relieve Madeleine in a minute.” I released one hand from around his back and ran it through his hair. “And this is the best thing, anyway. Just lying here. Feeling. Being.”

The bastard rolled his hips and pressed his erection against my thigh. I closed my eyes to keep my composure.

Slowly, I ran my hand over his back to the waistband of his tight-fitting briefs. I slid my hand back up under his T-shirt.

He exhaled slowly. “Would that really be enough for you?” he asked so quietly that I could barely hear him.

Slowly, I kissed his forehead, across his temple, to his ear. “With you? Definitely.”

Ruben froze briefly in my arms and then suddenly relaxed his body. He tilted his head back. “Kiss me again.”

“Nothing would make me happier.”

And even though half an hour had passed between our kiss on the slope and now, we picked up exactly where we had left off. Ruben demanded more. He paved his way into my mouth. He stroked my tongue. He licked, nibbled, and deepened his kisses until my lips were rough and sore. Finally, gasping for air, we drifted apart.

Ruben tilted his head up and stroked my cheek. He sucked in his lips and furrowed his eyebrows.

“I can’t get something you said today out of my head.”

I adjusted my head on the pillow and ran my hand over his hip. “What is it?” I wanted to know.

“That you didn’t have it easy between us either.” Ruben lowered his gaze. He studied my mouth while chewing on his own lips. “When I left in the summer, I didn’t think it would bother you much. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if it would affect you in any way. I only saw myself and my anger and disappointment.”

My heart pounded. The words tore open what I had tried to bury in the fall. The frustration, the worries, and the disillusionment with how Ruben had treated me—us—came back to the surface. I pulled my hands back and placed them under my cheek.

Ruben opened his eyes wide and watched them. A sound escaped him, but he immediately lowered his gaze again.

“It hurt, Ruben. A lot. To be ignored. You left me no choice.”

“I didn’t realize that.” Ruben reached out his fingers and ran them along my neck and shoulder. “We hadn’t talked about what was going on between us. And I assumed you didn’t care. Especially after the kiss.”

“I told you it was a joke. That it wasn’t serious.”

He stroked my lips. Somewhat reluctantly, I gave in and remained silent. “Yes. You did. But at that moment, I only saw my situation. You never explained what you imagined between us and . . . ”

“Not saying anything doesn’t mean I didn’t care. Neither of us talked about what was going on between us. I don’t know exactly what I would’ve told you. I probably wouldn’t have confessed my undying love to you. But I would’ve told you that I cared about what was going on between us. That I would’ve wanted to see where things were going with you and me. I would have given us a chance. Not even giving me the opportunity to take a stand, but just running away, hurt me.”

“I’m sorry! Terribly!” Ruben slid closer to me searching for my gaze imploringly.

“Are you sure you weren’t trying to get revenge?” Could I have sounded any more bitter?

Ruben put his hand on my cheek and stroked it. He stared at me intensely. “I may be impulsive, full of prejudices, and not particularly thoughtful. But I’m not malicious. Shane, it was a purely selfish decision. I wanted to do what was right for me. I couldn’t imagine what it would mean for you. Maybe it was short-sighted. But it wasn’t revenge.” He stroked my chest. His fingers ran aimlessly over my shirt.

Several times he began to say something and then stopped. He shook his head.

I pulled my hands out from under my head and reached for Ruben.

“I wish you had talked to me.”

“Okay. I get it!” He leaned toward me frantically, and I immediately moved toward him.

He kissed me hectically, grabbed my butt, and pulled us as close together as possible.

I followed his lead, responded to his insistent touches, held him close. I still didn’t want to rush things, but Ruben captivated me with his kisses, his whole manner. He put his thigh over mine and rubbed his hard-on desperately against mine, which had become hard again after our conversation.

“Shane,” he whispered. At the same time, he ran his hand over my body and stroked my cock.