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“Did I promise too much?”

I turned to Shane. He peered at me curiously with his big eyes. They sparkled with energy and his lips glowed red. They opened and little clouds puffed out of them. Blond curls had pushed their way out from under his hat onto his forehead, and he looked good enough to eat. Like a crispy vanilla croissant with a sweet cream filling hidden inside. Argh . . . no . . . I wasn’t going to go checking his filling.

“No. It’s beautiful.” I forced myself to turn back at the lake.

Shane’s footsteps crunched as he moved closer to me. “Are you feeling better?”

I nodded and smiled at him again briefly. “Right now, I don’t even know how I got myself into this spiral of thoughts.”

“Hmm.” Shane made a noncommittal sound. “Why is food so important, anyway?”

“It’s the most important event for us chefs here this season. The chef who’s coming to the resort is world-famous, and we’re fully booked with a triple waiting list. It’s a milestone on our resumes. Well . . . it’s only a weekend. But when Jacques is on the menu, he’s on the menu.”

Shane nodded beside me. “I understand that. Even though I don’t have anything resembling that. I move from season to season. From gig to gig. It’s cool to surf with important people in the industry, but ultimately it doesn’t make much difference to me who I was in the water or on the mountain with. My future doesn’t depend on it in any way.”

I snorted. “That’s probably why I let myself get unsettled like this. I don’t know if my future depends on this event. I mean: No professional future depends on a single event. But since I’m not sure what I want to do with my future, I can’t say how important this event is. Except that I’m going to do my job.” I kicked my boot into the snow along the way and Shane turned to me. But he gave me time and didn’t interrupt me. “You know,” I continued, “when my boss in Germany said that I have to find myself first to deliver the best of myself, I immediately jumped on that bandwagon. It was as if I had been waiting for permission to leave the Michelin-star kitchen. As if escaping the kitchen was my primary goal. Yet I did everything I could to get there. The scholarship. The school. Working abroad. All the work and time I put into my dream.”

“Do you regret it?” Shane asked cautiously.

“No, not at all,” I replied immediately. “Every trip to Europe was an absolute dream come true. Slowly, I’m starting to fear they were more of a means to an end, because I’m no longer sure what my dream is. I want to cook. But maybe I wanted to travel more than I wanted to work in a highly organized Michelin-star kitchen.” Sighing, I turned to him. “Shall we keep going?”

Shane nodded, and we walked back slowly. I thought about it. These thoughts hadn’t just occurred yesterday. I hadn’t been able to think about anything else for months.

“Life in a Michelin-star kitchen is awesome. But I’m not sure . . . ” I sighed again. Slowly, I was the biggest downer ever. “I’m just not sure what my path should be anymore. However, I don’t have a choice but to succeed.”

“What do you mean?” Shane asked, complete astonishment in his voice.

How was it that Shane was getting every word out of me that I didn’t even want to think? “My parents don’t have a lot of money. They had saved a little so I could go to college. You can’t call it a college fund. But it helped me pay the fees on top of my scholarship. And I’ve always worked in a kitchen. That’s how I’ve managed to make ends meet.”

I paused briefly and held Shane by the sleeve. “I’m sorry for babbling on and on.”

Shane took my hand. His fingers were cozy and warm, enveloping my icy paws. “That’s why we’re doing this. You’re pouring your heart out to me, and in the end you’ll be better.”

I rolled my eyes and Shane wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

In fact, his reaction was exactly what I needed at that moment. And I kept talking.

“I feel ungrateful even thinking that I’m not going to a prestigious kitchen but doing what I want to do. Plus, I still have to pay back my tuition fees. And I never want to be a burden on my parents. But I don’t know how I can combine all that with doing what I really want to do!”

“And what is that?”

I laughed out loud. “I don’t know. Or maybe I don’t want to admit it.”

We walked a few steps further without saying a word. I’d talked enough about myself now. Besides, I wasn’t going to have any epiphanies here.

I nudged Shane with my shoulder. “What about you? Are you doing what you want to do?”

Shane raised an eyebrow. “Interesting question. Most people assume that what I do is exactly what I want to do because it’s not a real job.”

I snorted indignantly. “That’s nonsense. All those people would drive me crazy. I’m happy to be able to cook without having to explain myself to anyone all the time. But if it makes you happy?”

Shane grinned broadly. “Yes. It’s pretty much what I want to do. I can’t imagine sitting in an office all day. That would be an absolute nightmare for me.”

He gazed pensively at the trees lining our path. “My parents are surprisingly relaxed about it too. They’re teachers. At Ocean View High School. And they set up a college fund for me, which I never touched. We were never poor, but it certainly wasn’t easy for them. They were always frugal. They saved diligently for my brother and me. They were never extravagant. They were content with what they had, and now they’re pretty chill too. They don’t pressure me to do something with my life. They’ve left it up to me what I want to do with the money. College, business investment, down payment on a house? It’s my decision. But somehow, I think I shouldn’t touch it if I’m not using it for its intended purpose. My brother is a teacher too, you know. So is his girlfriend. I don’t know. I’m the black sheep of the family.” He shrugged pensively and finally shook his head. “This thought has never been expressed in my family. But for some time now, I can’t get rid of it. Despite all the freedom our parents gave us, I wonder if they expected more from me. Somehow, I would love to show my gratitude for everything my parents have done for me. But on the other hand, I live my life in a way that is perfect for me. I could never be like them. A typical black sheep.”

I shook my head in amazement. “Are you though? I think you follow your family tradition quite closely.”

Shane stopped abruptly. “What? What are you talking about? I’m the exact opposite of what my family embodies.”