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He didn’t speak for a moment, then shook his head in disbelief. “You are nothing like what I first thought, Marie.”
“What—lifeless and dreary?”
His lips parted in surprise, as if he wasn’t sure how to respond. “I-I did apologize for that...”
She smiled. “I know. And I have forgiven you. But that does not mean I won’t bring it up any chance I can.”
He narrowed his eyes, a distinct spark in them revealing just how delighted he was by her teasing. “Yes, you are very different, indeed.”
She smiled, then sobered. “I must share my own apology now, specifically for how mismanaged this entire affair has been. I cannot imagine the shock you must have felt, nor the betrayal. I believe every person ought to have the opportunity to choose whom they wish to wed, and I mourn for you being unable to have that chance. What happened was entirely unjust, and for that, I am sorry.”
Charles couldn’t speak. For days, he’d longed to hear those words, yearned to know that someone understood him completely. To have Marie of all people speak the exact phrases he needed to hear—to have her comprehend exactly what he’d gone through—he wasn’t sure how to feel.
“Thank you,” he said, lacing his fingers together. “I’ve wanted...That is to say, for quite some time, I...Well, thank you.”
She eyed him curiously, though nodded in silence.
Neither of them spoke for a moment, Charles still reeling over the burden that Marie had so succinctly removed from around his neck, when another thought occurred.
“May I ask you a question?”
“Yes.”
“You have already told me that you were encouraged—not forced—to accept the union between us.”
She nodded.
“What was the deciding factor for you to go along with it?”
She looked away. “There were a few reasons, really. The first I’m certain you’ve already been told.” She cast him a sidelong glance. “That I am too old to find a husband of my own now.”
He didn’t know what to say, unable to deny the truth, but Marie’s knowing look silenced him further. “It’s true, at any rate. But what really convinced me to go along with the arrangement was the state of my future. I did not relish the prospect of siphoning from my parents’ funds for the rest of my days, nor did I wish to spend my future by myself. Such a prospect sounded unbearably lonely.”
Charles’s heart twisted at her hopeless tone. “And yet,” he began softly, hoping to understand her better, “you preferred the idea of growing old with a stranger?”
“I suppose I put a great deal of faith in your mother’s description of you.” She cast him a knowing glance before continuing. “At any rate, if you recall, we would not have been strangers had you met me before, as was your mother’s plan all along. Three times she tried, but you were always busy. Or...you were simply avoiding me.”
He squeezed his hands together, attempting not to fidget out of his own discomfort. “Yet something else I must apologize for. I wasn’t avoiding you, exactly, as much as I was avoiding anyone my mother pushed me towards.”
“Yet somehow, she still managed to make the marriage happen.”
“She’s nothing if not persistent.”
They shared another smile before she continued with a small sigh. “After reading your letter, which I assumed was in earnest, I had high hopes that if any man could respond with such enthusiasm to an arranged marriage, I would not mind spending such a future with him.”
Charles’s heart now doubled over in pain, and he winced. How he regretted that letter. Before, he’d mourned doing so because of how it had affected him. Now, he realized how selfish he’d been. His sarcasm toward his mother had affected Marie far more than he’d ever considered.
“Do not begin feeling guilty about that now, too,” Marie said, apparently reading his mind.
“It is difficult not to.”
“I understand your regret,” she stated. “I, too, have experienced a great deal of shame these last few days. Specifically for not pushing my father to renegotiate the wedding when I first discovered your ignorance. I just knew he would never agree to it. He had lost all confidence in my ability to find a husband, and with my reputation ruined, I would have no hope at all.”
Charles bit his tongue. The very fact that Mr. Oakley made it known that he’d lost faith in his own daughter was despicable. And yet, Charles, himself, had wondered countless times why she had, indeed, been unable to find a spouse.
He hesitated, not wishing to break the fragile connection now forging between them, but Marie must have seen the question in his eyes anyway.
“You wish to know why I never married,” she stated. “The real reason why.”
