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She was right, though. This was life. It was filled with failures and wrong decisions. Finn had been so determined to make the right one this time for his family. So why did he still feel so terrible?
“I should’ve been smarter earlier on,” he said. “I should’ve kept me distance from you ’til today, then we might have been able to…”
“It’s okay,” she repeated, her shaking head preventing him from continuing. “There’s no point in saying what you should’ve done. It is what it is. You’re putting your family first.” She blinked a few times. “Unfortunately, that just makes me like you even more.” She’d said it with a smile, but her voice dipped with emotion, and she quickly looked away as she cleared her throat. “Anyway, I hope everything is smoothed over now. And that you can keep this job. And I’m sorry that I…that I made things more complicated.”
He tried to protest, but she continued, taking another step away from him. He felt like he was watching liquid gold slip through his fingertips.
“Anyway, it’s probably better we found out about this earlier,” she said, nodding a few times, as if to convince herself of her words, though her quivering lower lip gave her away. “Who knows if it would’ve worked out? We’re from two totally different worlds.”
What did that matter? To Finn, it did very little.
She drew another step from him. “Anyway, I…I better go pack.” She stuck a thumb over her shoulder. “Got an early flight to catch.” She stopped, looking at the ground. When her eyes reached his again, their blue depths sparkled as watery as the sea beneath Carrick-a-Rede. “Thanks for everything, Finn. You made this the best trip I’ve ever had.” She blinked away the moisture in her eyes and smiled. “Feel free to message if you ever leave your job and find yourself in Boston, okay? I’ll save a seat for you at the restaurant.”
He gave a half-smile, though his heart splintered in two.
“Bye, Finn.” She waved, turning away from him, but Finn couldn’t bear it.
“Maisie,” he called out.
She turned back to him, her eyebrows raised high. “Yeah?”
“You didn’t make things complicated,” he said, praying she felt the depth in his words. “You made them light.”
A single tear slid down her cheek as she smiled, then she turned on the white heels of her Kiziks and walked away.
Finn stared after her, having so much to say still, though knowing it would only make it harder for the both of them.
Instead, he watched her in silence, the final drop of gold falling from his hands as she disappeared into the crowds.
CHAPTER FORTY
Finn sat across from Da in the front room that night, his shoulders sloped forward. His grandparents had already gone to bed, and Ma hadn’t returned yet from eating out with her friends that evening, so it had been the perfect opportunity to speak.
Now that Finn had shared everything—including the fact that he’d lost his flat—he almost regretted speaking. He hadn’t wanted to talk about all his issues, but he’d put it off too long as it was. His parents deserved to know that they were going to have to house their homeless son again.
Da sat back in his seat, blowing out a heavy sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me you were strugglin’ to make ends meet, son?”
“Same reason you haven’t told Ma,” Finn returned.
Da stared. “Fair enough. But still, it isn’t your responsibility to watch out for us. And I’m sorry it’s led to this.”
“Me, too.”
“And,” Da continued, “you shouldn’t sign that wee contract.”
Finn looked away. He’d already signed it. Now all he needed to do was turn it in. “I won’t leave the four of you out to dry in a rainstorm, Da.”
“You can’t leave that girl out, either.”
Finn’s heart cracked a little bit more. “I already have. One day, when circumstances have changed and you have a job and I find meself another, I’ll reach out to her.”
“You think a girl like that’ll be free for long?” Da asked.
The thought had been occupying Finn’s mind each day he’d known Maisie. “No, I don’t. But I made me choice.”
“And you’re sure of it?” Da asked. “I can always find somewhere else to take another loan. Move house. Start sellin’ off family heirlooms.”
But Finn shook his head. “That’s not an option, Da. Me whole life, I’ve been selfish, only thinkin’ of meself. Leavin’ Eton, wastin’ me scholarship, settlin’ for a low payin’ job. For once, I’m goin’ to make a smart decision and base it off of thinkin’ ’bout others.”