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Even with Melody’s distance, Claire found it increasingly more difficult to keep her own spirits up as the day progressed.
After decorating the tree with old tinsel and glass ornaments, she, Melody, and Tasha baked up a storm in the kitchen, fixing mince pies, yule logs, and gingerbread cookies, all of which were to be served the following day for the Christmas Eve party Tasha was holding.
Liam joined in the conversation as they baked, remaining mostly at his computer for the early afternoon. His eyes shifted to Claire every once in a while, though she did her best not to notice.
“What do you think?” Tasha asked, passing around the cookies after taking a bite of her own.
“So good,” Claire said, her mouth half-full of the spiced mixture.
“Seriously,” Melody agreed.
But Tasha raised an unimpressed shoulder. “They’re not as nice as Grasmere’s, but they’ll do.” She faced Claire. “Next time you come to England we’ll take you to the Lake District. They make the best gingerbread. Nearly as gorgeous as the scenery.”
“That would be amazing,” Claire responded, trying to answer flippantly, though her chest ached.
Next time. There wouldn’t be a next time.
Claire had made a mistake in coming to England. It had made her realize just how desperately lonely her life back home had become, or perhaps had always been. Even though she loved her job, nothing could compare to how she’d felt walking around London—and nothing could compare to how she’d felt being with Liam, laughing with him, being held by him, kissed by him. Her time with him had been a dream come true.
But just like all dreams, this one was coming to an end whether Claire wanted it to or not.
After the baking had been completed and the late afternoon sun sank low behind the London skyline, Melody managed to convince the others to join her at Harrods for her procrastinated search for Christmas presents, as her parents and younger sister would arrive the following morning.
“You have to come, too, Liam,” Melody said before he’d even had the chance to say his preference. “I have to buy something for my dad, and you’re the only guy who can help.”
He glanced to Claire before reluctantly agreeing. Did he hesitate because he wanted time away from Claire? She couldn’t blame him. Neither of them were really being their true selves.
As they rode the Underground toward the department store, Melody spent half her time talking to them about Dean and the other half gushing about a guy she liked back home. All the while, Tasha listened and commented as Claire and Liam sat across from each other in uncomfortable silence.
In those moments, Claire couldn’t help but envy Melody. Why could Claire not detach from others, be fine with people coming in and out of her life? If she did, maybe then she’d be able to speak with Liam as they had before, like the friends they’d grown to be.
But of course, she knew why she couldn’t. After all, why would she want a fruitless relationship when she already had two with her parents?
Her thoughts continued to sink lower, dragging her spirits down with them as they wandered about the seven floors of Harrods, moving from shop to shop at Melody’s request as she spoke of past gifts given to her by her parents.
“My mom and I always get each other some type of perfume,” Melody said after she purchased a necklace and soaps for her younger sister, Jen. “I’m thinking maybe something floral this year.”
Claire couldn’t remember the last Christmas present she’d received from her parents that hadn’t been a souvenir they’d originally purchased for themselves. They usually ended up giving her a couple hundred-dollar bills from their wallets before the holidays instead.
“We’d much prefer you buying something you’d actually want, Claire Bear,” they’d say.
But Claire knew the truth. They didn’t know her well enough to buy her something she’d want, nor did they wish to put in any effort to get to know what she’d want. Just like they didn’t put in the effort to text her back. Four days had passed, and still, she’d received not a single word from them.
The knowledge pinched at her heart as they moved to a white-lit, marble-floored perfume shop. Melody was in absolute heaven as they walked down the shining center aisle, a crystal chandelier hanging in the center of the shop.
Claire had to admit the store was pristine, but the overwhelming scents, though fine, pressed uncomfortably against her skull. Liam seemed uneasy, as well, for in a matter of minutes, he excused himself from the group to “look at the camera bags they have in stock.”
He gave Claire a departing smile, and she watched him walk away with silent longing. She’d most definitely rather look at camera bags than listen to Melody going on about the perfect fragrance for her mom.
But Liam would never invite her to go along with him. Not when they were supposed to be growing apart.
Instead of following after Liam uninvited, Claire held back from Tasha and Melody, pretending to be very interested in a crab apple blossom scent.
Had her mom and dad thought of Claire even once on their trip? Or were they so taken with everything to do on board the cruise they had no time to think of anyone but themselves?
Claire wanted to deny it, but she missed her mom and dad. Not the ones who ditched her over and over again, but the ones who showed up just enough to make her have the hope that maybe, one day, they’d be there for her always.
Could they be tonight? Could they speak with her and give her the boost she needed to see her through the garbage she held onto so tightly this time of year? Or would they rattle off some other excuse she couldn’t believe?