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“I know, but I need some space right now.”
He let go. I took the elevator back down to the lobby. Marco was still parked outside like he already knew that I was going to come back outside.
I got in the car. “Can you take me to Siani’s?” I asked. “And don’t tell your friend where I’m going.”
He turned to look at me over the seat. “Belle—”
“I’m not asking you to lie. Just don’t volunteer the information.”
He shook his head and started the truck. Dez’s number popped on the display again. He looked at me through the rearview mirror.
“If shit goes sideways, I’m calling him,” he said. “Non-negotiable.”
“Whatever.”
“And I’m staying outside Siani’s till you’re ready to leave.”
I gave him a mock salute. “Aye, aye, captain.”
I took out my phone as he merged into traffic. My social media was still going off with people trying to figure out how I’d managed to land Cardez Montague.
I needed to be with someone who’d known me before all of this started.
I’m coming over. Make sure you have wine.
Siani
Say less. Let me know when you’re downstairs.
Marco turned up the music as I put my phone in my bag.
In my rush to leave Dez’s place, I didn’t bring anything with me. Siani let me take a shower and lent me some clothes. She’d ordered some Chinese food, and I was laying on her living room floor with a half empty glass of Malbec.
“Am I turning into Regina?” I asked, sitting up.
She frowned at me from the couch. “What in the world are you talking about?”
“Regina married four different men for what they could give her. I scammed Cardez for what I could get from him. We’re not that different, Si.”
“Lala, you’re being hella dramatic right now.”
“Am I, though? I built my entire adult life around taking from rich niggas. Then I found one who was generous, who would’ve given me anything, and I still stole from him.” I flopped down on the floor. “My mother has me messed up in the head, oh my God.”
“First of all, Ms. Regina did that so she could give you a good life. She’s just in too deep and doesn’t know any other way to live. That’s a her problem, no shade.” She picked up her fork. “You’re over here crying about loving a man for real. Those aren’t the same kind of issues.”
“I never said I loved him.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Why am I so fucked up?” I felt the overwhelming urge to cry again.
“Because you’re human,” she said firmly. “Belle, if you didn’t love Cardez, you would’ve figured a way out of the whole marriage thing by now. You should be proud of yourself. You told him how you felt instead of punching the shit out of him again. Has your mother ever had a difficult conversation with one of her husbands? She’d just dump them and find the next sucker.”
“This man has me crying and sharing feelings. Something’s wrong with me.”
She tilted her head. “Or something’s different.”
“Different how?”
