Page 96

When he touches you, I break things. I know you don’t want it, and I know you come to me after to replace his hands with mine, but God. It makes me furious to know he’s had you first.

I see how you swell. You said it would be a girl. I hope she has your smile.

Swallowing, I clutch the pillow to my chest, lashes wet. There are hundreds of notes. Little slips of time, of a torrid love transpired between two people destined to be apart.

They’re depressing, full of so much love that my heart cracks with every word. My mother felt this—she felt more—and she never got to be truly happy.

I don’t want that to be my destiny.

My door slams into the far wall, and I jump as Freddie appears. I pull the comforter to my chest, covering my silk pajamas. After my discovery, I’m not giving anyone a free show any longer. I don’t want to think about others who have seen me.

Dressed in jeans and an oily black T-shirt, Freddie stops in the center of my bedroom. There’s a large watch glinting on his wrist, and the thick bandage still wraps around his hand.

Smirking, my eyes find the jar of his fingers, tucked behind a few books on my vanity. Ello tried taking them, but they’ve become a trophy for me.

Freddie gives me a bored look. “There are dolls in here.”

I sign, “It’s my bedroom.”

“I don’t know what you said. Just don’t expect them to come with us when we get married.”

Rolling my eyes, I sign, “That won’t happen.”

He makes a face, entering my closet. He comes out, holding one of my demure dresses, a pale pink one with a hem that reaches my knee. Tossing it onto the bed, he points at it. “Put it on.”

“Why are you here?” I ask, mouth dry.

“We’re going out.” His gaze scans me, a smirk lighting his face. I cringe at the predatory gleam.

“Where?”

He winks. “Get ready. You’ll love it.”

Freddie leaves as quickly as he entered, and I scramble to close the door. I have no idea what he’s planning, but I’m still his fiancée. I have to listen.

Quickly, I strip, pulling on the dress. My rebellious side wants to forgo underwear, but I know what happened last time. As much as I liked it—still do—I can’t tempt him right now. The space was necessary while I put everything into focus.

I know Briar would show up, and I’d really be in trouble.

Quickly, I pin my hair up and slip on a pair of golden hoops. I don’t think I have a lot of time, but I do my signature smoky eyes and pale lips. As I’m slipping on my heels, Ello rushes into my room, face panicked.

“Do you know where you’re going?” he signs.

I shrug, responding, “I don’t.”

“I’m coming with you.” He spins on his heel, and I feel his stomps through the floor.

I don’t like this. Ello is usually informed as my escort, but for him to be worried sets off alarm bells..

Timidly, I pick up my small clutch and turn over my phone. I’ve had it on silent for the last few days, and have dozens of missed messages from Briar. A few phone calls, too.

He didn’t think we needed the space, but it helped me. After reading my mother’s notes, it put everything in perspective. It tempered my guilt and let my love shine. It doesn’t matter who he is—my heart knows he’s the only one for me.

I send him a message.

I’m going out with Freddie. I don’t know where or why. Do not come after me. Do not interfere. You’ll only risk yourself. But I’m making you aware… in case.

His response is immediate.