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My guts tangled all over again.

I set a knee onto the bed then climbed up to hover over her, pressed the cloth between her thighs.

She was so fucking tight, I knew she was bound to be sore.

Elena arched with a whimper. “God, that feels good, but not half as good as you did.”

Couldn’t help it. Arrogance tweaked my mouth. “You like it, Lena? Me filling you full?”

Those mesmerizing eyes widened with her nod. “I can confirm it is officially my favorite thing.”

“Good. Plan on having you that way time and again.”

“Forever?” It wasn’t timid. It was her own demand. Needing to know that I wasn’t going to go coward and split. Throw up obstacles the way I’d been doing.

“You’re it, Elena. You have the rest of my life.”

I gathered her up and dragged her to the head of the bed since she was still basically lying sideways across it, tucked her naked flesh to mine. Breathed her in.

Apple and cinnamon and life.

All mixed with a little bit of me.

I didn’t hate it.

She sighed as she nestled closer. “How are you feeling?”

I huffed a bewildered sound toward the ceiling, then shifted my head to look at her with a playful arch of my brow. “Like a heathen.”

A giggle rolled out of her, and she tapped her fingertips across my chest. “My heathen.”

“That’s right.” And I’d used all my atrocity for her good.

Elena’s expression shifted into awe. “I can’t believe I’m lying here like this with you. I’ve wanted it for so long.”

A bit of unrest rolled through me. Thoughts going back to those days. When she’d come to me and I turned her away.

That moment when I’d come to look at her so differently.

When the rage over her had first consumed.

“I tried to stop it. The way I felt about you,” I murmured into the lapping night.

I could feel the roll of her eyes. “Obviously. Hello, willpower of steel.”

I could feel her mind wander, the wisping of her spirit and the questions that had been contained. “There were so many times when I felt invisible to you, and others when I swore that I wasn’t alone in this. When I swore I could feel our connection scream that we were supposed to be so much more.”

My hand twitched where it was plastered to her bare hip, my arm wound around her and keeping her close. “You weren’t alone, Elena. Went half out of my mind with my need for you. Trying to deny you and deny myself.”

“But the oath you made to the club stopped you?” There was a smidgeon of hurt woven with her question.

I blew the strain out into the dense air. “That oath means something to me, Elena.”

But it wasn’t the one that had held me. It was the one I made to Silas that night. When I’d crawled back to him and begged for his mercy.

I had to fucking tell her that, too. Tell her what I’d done. What I’d set into motion. Concede every mistake I’d ever made.

Disquiet gripped me tight. Would she get it? Would she understand?