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And I wanted that for her.

I wanted it for all of them.

But it also meant that I had lost it.

Another hole whittled out inside me.

A stupid tear streaked free, and Trevan reached out and gathered the moisture before he settled a big palm on my cheek.

Warmth slipped under the surface of my skin.

I fully turned my attention to him.

Cutting myself open wide.

Not even ashamed of it.

“I thought he was mine, and it’s so ridiculous because it didn’t fit into this other dream that I had. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.”

Gentle eyes caressed my face. “Does Brinley know?”

My head frantically shook. “No, and I don’t want her to. I don’t want her to feel like she stole something from me because that situation is one hundred percent right. Meant to be.”

I couldn’t imagine better parents for Kai.

He deserved that family.

I knew firsthand what it was like to ache for your mother.

To grieve the hole that was left inside you.

More tears welled as I was hit with a wave of agony. Cherished memories that cut me wide open.

My mother’s face.

Her smile.

Her fingers in my hair as she’d sing me to sleep.

Soft air puffed from Trevan’s nose, and he ran the callused pad of his thumb along the hollow of my eye.

Who knew something so rough could evoke so much comfort.

The same as the scruff of his voice.

“You wanted to raise him.”

My nod felt like the tumbling of a stone. As thick as the ball of emotion that sat soggy in my chest.

“I thought that’s why he’d ended up with us. Because he needed me to step into that position. It turned out he was just waiting on Brinley to get there.”

“Lena.” Trevan’s expression grew softer, his eyes creasing at the sides.

“It’s okay.” I croaked over what didn’t feel like a complete lie. “It’s not the right time. I’m just opening the store and finding my own way.”

“But someday,” he surmised.

I couldn’t tell if it was anguish or yearning inscribed in his fierce, empathetic expression. Like he understood what I was feeling firsthand.