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But if he was never going to, who would? How would I ever outgrow this thing if I didn’t take a chance on myself?
So, I turned to the cute guy who was about two feet away. His name was Dice, and he’d been on the property for a few months. One of the guys I was pretty sure was soon to be patched in.
I thought maybe he’d be wary of me. Step away. But he only gave me a slow grin as he tilted back his beer bottle and took a sip.
Eyes on me the whole time.
I liked the way it felt.
Hot and slow and interested.
I didn’t exactly catch fire, but like Brinley had told me so many times, stepping out didn’t mean I was necessarily finding my forever.
I might just be finding myself.
It was inevitable that the old fear rose up. The fact that every time I’d tried to do that, something horrible had happened.
The curse that caused guilt to nearly clot off my throat climbing up from the hollow cavern inside me where I normally kept it chained and locked.
I thought that Brinley must have been able to sense it because she danced up next to me, sweet encouragement in the jostle of her shoulder.
She had my back, big time.
Believed in me and would stick up for me since a whole giant piece of this was about my brother and what he would think.
Okay, so that was pretty much the whole freaking cake since there was a very good chance he would go batshit tyrant.
I knew he loved me, but sometimes that love verged on dictatorial.
But Brinley was here, and I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
I refused to feel guilt for letting myself experience the things that I’d been missing.
So, I stomped it down into the pits where it belonged and let myself get swept away by the hypnotizing beat of music. Music that had gone dark and decadent. As dark and decadent as the vibe that slithered through the club.
That thing that always accelerated my pulse, but I’d never truly stepped into.
An energy that the bar always held that I had only really ever experienced from the periphery.
I swayed with it. Let go in it the way I’d asked Brinley to do, but maybe I’d only been begging her to be my wingman while I attempted that for myself.
With each jut of my hips, I got closer and closer to Dice who was looking at me with a bit of humor in his face.
Like he was wondering what on earth I thought I was doing.
Sure, I danced with some of the guys sometimes.
But it was always off beat and goofy.
Clear that there was nothing sexual to it.
But I wanted to feel that for a moment.
The desire that I’d felt this morning when I woke. My entire body lit up and throbbing with fire.
Dice edged forward a fraction, matching my beat. A wicked grin took to the corner of his mouth as he peered down at me.
“You look like you’re up to no good tonight, princess.”