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*

Once I got home, I gave Aisha a call. She had been calling me to check in after the fire but had dismissed me whenever I quizzed her about how she was feeling with her post-​viral fatigue.

“Hey, Baji. How’re you doing? Seen any more of Kerr hot-​stuff yet?”

“Shut it,” I told her, as she laughed at her own joke. Guilt swirled in my stomach at the thought that anyone might know I was attracted to Kerr. But I reminded myself that I had no need to feel guilty, not when Drew had a new girlfriend and a baby on the way. “I’m all good. Back to work and everything, no ill effects.”

“Including no psychological ill effects?”

That gave me pause. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“You can’t have gotten over it that quickly, Nisa.”

It was clear she wasn’t just talking about the psychological impact of the fire. I had confided in Aisha about Aileen’s pregnancy, and the manner in which Drew had delivered the news. Aisha had offered to go round there and knee him so hard in the balls that it would be the last baby he would ever make, but I had dissuaded her from the idea.

Since the news had dropped (or rather, been dropped upon me) I had tried my best to do some reflection. If I were expecting a baby, wouldn’t I be really excited too? Perhaps that had clouded Drew’s judgment and affected how he had passed on the news to me. But—​he knew how much I wanted to start a family. He also knew full well that he had kiboshed my desire to have a baby, multiple times. Where was his empathy? More to the point, had Drew ever shown me any empathy?

My thoughts and emotions where he was concerned were all tangled up, but whenever I followed one thread, such as feeling lonely and missing him, I would end up feeling another—​disappointment and anger at his behavior. I had always believed that Drew was a good man, that he had put up with a lot being with me. Hence why I had wanted him back.

A thought struck me. Had wanted, or did still want? And had he really put up with a lot being with me? Or was that merely what he used to make me believe?

My head hurt, as well as my heart.

“I’m just trying not to think about it, Munni. Keeping busy. Kerr is coming over at the weekend to help redecorate, and I’ve also got my work-​related mystery to solve.” I had told my sister about Anna too, though she had been a little dismissive about the idea and accused me of trying to be the brown Miss Marple.

“Whoa, whoa. Back it up there. Did you say that Kerr hot-​stuff is coming round to help redecorate?!”

“Yeah, but he’s just being neighborly,” I told her. Which was definitely the case. Wasn’t it? The warm look in Kerr’s eyes whenever he’d regarded me over the past few days came to mind. It was a look that melted my heart into a gooey mess just like the chocolate bomb Aisha and I had had for dessert last time we’d gone out to dinner.

“Yeah, right,” she said in an extremely skeptical tone.

“Anyway, I didn’t call to talk about me. I want to know if you’re feeling any better?”

A slight pause. “Well, a little bit.”

“A little bit?”

“Yeah. I made an appointment with the GP and she recommended getting some blood tests done. So I’m booked in for those tomorrow.”

My mouth went dry, my heart rate picking up. Blood tests. Full blood counts, anemia, and a high white cell count, Aisha being rushed into hospital . . . I took a breath, keeping my voice even. “Well, that’s a good plan. You can get checked out and then have some reassurance, Munni.”

“Yep. Defo. Anyhoo, I’d best be off. Seb is taking us out to dinner at Fortescue’s and I need to pick an outfit.”

“Ooh, check you, Mr. and Mrs. Fancy Pants,” I teased. Fortescue’s was the best restaurant in the area, a steak place a number of miles away on a large country estate. “Shame that one of you needs to drive though, so you can’t both have a glass of vino.”

“Oh, Seb’s organized us a taxi.”

I suppressed a laugh. A taxi to and from Fortescue’s would cost about as much as the meal itself. But I was pleased that my brother-in-law spoiled my wee sis and thought the sun shone out of her arse. Because I did too. “Well, you two kids have fun,” I said.

After the call ended, the tug at my stomach wouldn’t go away. I was like this whenever Aisha was under the weather because I was terrified that she was going to get sick again. That I might have to consider losing her again. But it was probably nothing. Just a nasty winter virus taking its toll. And as I had told her, the likelihood was that the blood tests would give us all the reassurance that we needed.

19

Kerr

“BUCKET, CLEANING UTENSILS, cleaning fluid . . .” I muttered to myself, running through the equipment I had gathered to start the work over at Nisa’s. She had told me to just use her stuff, but I preferred my own. I also didn’t like the idea of sullying anything of hers, even though it was her place where I was doing the work, on a voluntary basis. Go figure.

I’d also gotten a new extension cord for her so she could get all her stuff plugged back in. Minus that extra set of lights. There was no room for those—​at least, no safe way of making room. I smiled to myself as I considered that she wasn’t going to be happy about not being even with me in the competition, minus that extra set of lights.