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Hana gave her a hard stare. “It’s unfair of you to go against his wishes like that. After all he’s done for you? It was so hard for his family to make their way in Scotland as immigrants, and he only wants what’s best for us. You’re throwing that back in his face larking around at that stupid ski resort.”
Maya took a breath in an attempt to combat the tightening sensation in her throat. She tried to keep the wobble out of her voice, and failed. “You’re making me sound really selfish.”
“That’s because you are.”
The words speared Maya’s heart. It wasn’t only that the sentiment was hurtful but that she suspected her sister was correct. Going after what she wanted in life was selfish. If she took the path she desired, she was doing what was best for her, rather than her family.
Swallowing hard, she got to her feet. Her knees felt loose, like they mightn’t hold her weight. “I need to be somewhere.”
Leaving the room quickly, she noted that Hana didn’t try to stop her, or say anything at all. After speedily pulling on her jacket and boots, she grabbed her woolly hat and gloves to step outside into the winter afternoon twilight, shutting the door behind her and taking a lungful of icy cold air.
Having no idea where she should go, but feeling she needed to walk, she set off onto the pavement and along the street.
After wandering around for a few minutes, trying to distract herself with the Christmas lights, she took out her phone and called Liv. It rang out and went to voice mail, so Maya hung up. She hovered her thumb over Elise’s number. Calling Elise might be selfish when she had such big issues going on. Although, it had been her advice to get into a discussion with Hana.
Not knowing what was self-centered and what was reasonable anymore, she took her finger away from Elise’s number and sat on a low wall, staring across the road into the darkness.
Her phoned buzzed with a message from Sam.
BB Ben is so stoked about the accounts thing that he’s talking about giving us both a bonus.
At least there was some good news in the world. Sam deserved a bonus.
Brilliant. There’s no one more deserving than you.
Yeah there is. You.
Maya’s thumb seemed to type of its own free will, her stream of consciousness directly galvanizing it without her rational mind censoring her thoughts.
I’m too selfish.
What?! You’re the least selfish person I know.
Maya sat for a moment, realizing she’d typed on impulse and unsure what to say next. She didn’t want to rain on his parade. That would be even more self-centered of her.
The phone began to ring, and it was him. Maya cleared her throat, trying to reinforce her voice before answering. “Hey, Leonard. How goes it?”
“What’s wrong?”
Her voice wobbled. “Nothing.”
His tone was soft. “Maya.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Hana arrived home unexpectedly.” Her voice broke. “She says that I lark around without a care in the world and it’s selfish of me to work at the resort when Dad had to work so hard as the son of an immigrant family.”
There was a second’s silence. “Are you at home?”
“No. I’m sitting on a wall two streets down from ours, freezing my arse off. I didn’t want to be in the house with her.”
“I’m coming to get you.”
Panic rose in her chest at the thought of him putting himself out, plus what would he say to Cat? “Sam, don’t—”
“Stay there. I’ll be two minutes.” He hung up.
“Shit.” Maya glanced around, hoping there were no schoolchildren within earshot. She huffed out her breath, feeling like the most pathetic specimen in the world. “For goodness’ sake,” she muttered. “You’re going to get Sam in trouble now. Selfish again.”
Maybe once he arrived, she could insist she was fine and send him home.
