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Maya almost stopped him to launch into her monologue. But she decided it might be best to let him exhaust his side first. Hopefully then she’d be better able to keep the floor.
“I know you think that I drive you and Hana hard, but I only want what’s best for you. For you to be self-sufficient. That’s why I want you to take the Perry and Pearson job. In order for you to achieve that security.” Omar paused, studying her face. “Just look at your sister. A partner in her firm, the youngest they’ve ever had. And she and Rosie are engaged to be married, with a beautiful house and now a baby on the way.”
Maya hesitated for a second. “I know all of that, Dad. You’ve given me the same spiel a thousand times.” She sighed. “The career thing isn’t really what makes Hana happy. Not fully. She likes being a lawyer, and she’s excellent at it. But it’s her life with Rosie that makes her truly content. And she nearly let her career ruin that when she had a crisis of confidence about easing up on the workload.”
Omar darted his gaze down at the table. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I told your mother as much, and I’ve apologized to Hana.” He snapped his eyes back up. “In any case, it doesn’t alter that you’re abandoning not just a good opportunity, but your whole career. Everything we worked for you to achieve.”
His use of the word we was very telling.
“My career is my own business. It’s for me to decide. I’m an adult. You chose your career, and I’ll choose mine.”
Omar clenched his fist, and the sight of it caused her pulse to spike.
His voice rose. “It’s more complicated than that, Maya. You’re my daughter. It’s my responsibility to set you on the right path, otherwise what kind of father does that make me?”
“Dad—”
He scraped his chair back to stand, making her jump. “We weren’t as lucky as you, when I was growing up. Making their way in this country was hard for my parents, even as professionals back in their native land. They had to work twice as hard as others to reach the same goals.”
He left the table to pace the room, causing Maya’s nausea to intensify.
“I don’t want you to have to struggle. I want a secure future for you.” He stood still, giving her a hard stare. “I don’t understand why you can’t grasp that.”
Tears pricked at her eyes, and a word flashed across the back of her mind. Selfish. Look at what her voicing her desires was doing to her father. She took a deep breath, her resolve wavering.
Omar came over and sat next to her. “You need a steady career. Not just a job. Something with a ladder to climb. Financial security and status.”
Maya found herself nodding, muted into silence by her guilt. Just like the last time they’d had this conversation, when she was eighteen.
He lifted a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Then you’ll be happy.”
Happy? Her breath caught. For a while there, she had been. On the slopes with her kids, spending time with Sam. Probably the happiest she’d ever been.
The spark of her determination stopped spluttering, and caught alight.
She met his gaze, her voice quiet. “Happiness for me doesn’t come from job status, or how much money I’m making. Sure, having a steady career means stability and less stress, but that career needs to be one I don’t hate.” She paused to let that sink in, taking in the way his eyes widened. “Hating your job leads to unhappiness. No matter how much money or status is associated with it.” Swallowing hard, she forced herself to continue. “I made myself miserable for years, studying a subject I didn’t really care for. Working in a career I had no passion for. It sucked the life out of me, until there was no joy left.” Her voice cracked. “And I did it all to win your approval.”
Omar took a sharp breath, opening his mouth, though no words came out.
Maya swallowed again. The nausea was building, making her feel light-headed. But she had to finish this. All her intentions of fueling what she wanted to say with anger were extinguished, because there was only sadness left. “I’m not Hana. I never have been and I’ve never measured up to her in your eyes, though goodness knows I’ve tried.”
He snapped his gaze onto hers, but she didn’t waver.
“I love skiing. I love teaching it. Being at the resort makes me so happy that sometimes I feel like I’m floating. And I’m really good at it. I can help people access the joy that it brings me, and that magnifies my own joy exponentially. I’m spreading happiness. And it pays more than enough to keep me stable.” She leaned forward. “This is me talking. Nobody else. I think you know me well enough to realize that I’d never let a man influence these decisions for me. I’m my own person, and an intelligent one at that. I’d be making this change, whether or not Sam was in the picture.”
Maya hadn’t told Omar that she didn’t yet know whether Sam wanted to remain in her particular picture or not. She reached over to take his hands. “I’m going to tell Perry and Pearson that I’m very grateful for the opportunity, but being back home has made me realize this is where I want to stay, and I want a career change.”
Finally, she stopped talking, feeling that there was nothing else left to say. Except one thing. “I love Sam, Dad. He puts me first and loves me for who I am. Not for who I could be.”
She let go of his hands, absorbing the shocked expression on his face and the guilt eating her up that she’d made him sad by saying all of that.
She stood. “I’ll give you some space to think.”
Crossing the room to the kitchen door, she opened it and turned back, trying in vain to keep her voice steady. “I love you. And I wouldn’t change you.” Her voice cracked as tears began to fall. “I hope you feel the same about me.”
Leaving the room quickly, before she began to openly sob, she shut the door behind her, leaning back against it for a moment.
The living room door was open a crack, and her mother, sister, and sister-in-law were clearly in there listening, judging by the scurrying footsteps that were apparent on the other side. Maya managed a tiny smile as she walked down the hallway, brushing the tears from her cheeks and opening the door. “I’m going for a walk to clear my head.”
