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As he sank back into his seat, it seemed his heart was sinking faster, right down to his feet. Would Omar ever forgive Maya if she declined the job offer? Would their relationship be irreparably damaged? Sam had been abandoned by his own father, and now he was driving Maya’s away from her.
Guilt stabbed him so painfully in his chest that he had to lift a hand to rub it. The right thing to do was becoming clearer, but the agony that accompanied the plan was such that he had to take a series of deep breaths in order to stem the feeling that he might pass out.
Chapter
Twenty-Five
Things had been chilly in the bashir household, and not temperature-wise. Luckily, Rosie had arrived with her good-natured warmth, and she and Hana were back on track. Their displays of affection were at least going some way to providing good vibes in the house.
Maya could tell that her mum was doing her best to work on her dad, but he still wasn’t really speaking to Maya, and she hated it. This was why she avoided these sorts of issues at all costs. Life had been better when she used to sweep things under the carpet.
Hadn’t it?
She recalled the daily humdrum misery that had been her office life, and compared it to the excitement that built as she traveled the mountain road to the ski center, then the thrill of seeing the children’s faces as they mastered their lessons on the slope.
Sighing, she lay back on her bed. She had a few days left until the deadline. Then her time would be up and she’d have to give her decision to Perry and Pearson, and face the consequences. The idea of it hanging over her until then was almost too much to bear.
The doorbell rang out downstairs, and she sat up, sure that she could hear Sam’s voice. Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and her heart lifted as she got to her feet.
She opened her bedroom door as he reached the landing.
Throwing her arms around him in delight, she guided him back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
He didn’t hug her back. “I hope you don’t mind me coming up, your mum let me in.”
Maya released him, bringing him to sit on the bed, where she sat cross-legged next to him. “Course I don’t mind. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
He glanced away. “How’re you feeling?”
“Stressed,” she said, but immediately regretted admitting the whole truth when his face fell. She took his hand. “But better for seeing you.”
Sam gave her hand a squeeze, visibly swallowing. “Listen. I came over because I think—no—I know what we need to do.”
Maya nodded, feeling hopeful, which was a pleasant change from the last few days. “What’s that?”
He kept his eyes off her. “Just hear me out on this one.” Taking a breath, he glanced at the ceiling. “You should tell Perry and Pearson that you’re taking the job.”
Her heart tripped over itself and plummeted to her feet. “Sam—”
“Wait.” He flashed her a weak smile that didn’t meet his eyes, his voice wobbly. “Take the job, move to Edinburgh, and get settled in.” He cleared his throat. “You and I will have a break. So that you can explore this opportunity, and really get to know whether it’s for you or not.”
Maya tried to calm her hammering heart by taking a couple of deep breaths. “You . . . you want to break up?”
Sam blinked, still not looking at her. “It’s for the best, Maya. I think we got into this too quickly, when you were still deciding what you wanted for your future. I can’t be the one to hold you back, or you’ll end up resenting me.” His voice cracked. “Like the way my mum resented my dad. And I don’t want to damage your relationship with your dad either.”
Maya’s mouth was so dry she couldn’t even swallow.
Trying to form the words to tell him that this was a mistake, it hit her—what she’d been worrying about ever since their first “fake” kiss. Sam said they’d gotten into this too quickly. That was exactly what she’d been concerned about—not with regard to herself, but rather for his sake. He hadn’t had the chance to get over Cat yet. And as toxic as she was, it had been a very long relationship, spanning years on and off. Sam didn’t feel able to proceed with counseling, so it meant that more than ever, he needed time. Time to heal. It had been selfish of her to have gotten into a relationship with him so soon. Even though she and Hana had made up, Maya couldn’t shake the feeling that there was some truth in her sister’s assessment. And regardless of whether she took this damned Edinburgh job or not, breaking up might be the best thing for him.
The realization stabbed so painfully in her heart that it took her breath away. She loved him too much not to agree to this, if there was a chance this was the right path for him.
Finally, she managed to force some words out, but her voice sounded strange and distant. “If that’s what you want.”
He nodded, blinking fast as he glanced toward the window.
The pain in Maya’s chest was tightening with each passing second, balling in her throat and pricking at her eyes.
Sam’s voice was strained. “I’ll leave you to it. Let you e-mail your reply.” Leaning over to give her a brief kiss on the cheek, he stood and left the room, closing the door behind him.
