Page 45

I haven’t let her go yet, making sure she’s stable.

Yeah, right.

Kind of defeats the whole purpose of our little rest stop.

“So, she wouldn’t be my shadow?”

“What shadow?” My blood runs cold.

“In my dreams—there’s always been someone there, usually a man. I keep thinking he’s you. But sometimes there is just a shadow, watching me.” She drops her head down. “I thought, I felt, I—maybe I’m just crazy.”

I hate that she’s doubting herself. All because of me.

Coward.

“The queen shouldn’t have any way to be in your dreams.” I lift her chin and try to reassure her, sidestepping what she’s really asking. “You’re safe.”

“If I’m so safe… how did I end up here with you? Because how I see it, you basically delivered me to her doorstep.” Her words wound me, but they’re true.

A heavy sigh escapes as I release her.

“My safety, and Birdy’s, depends on my ability to not only fulfill my duty to the Crown but to do so without asking questions. She’s been looking for you for years.”

“Where was I before?”

“I’m not sure.”

It’s mostly truth.

I need my own answers before I can offer her any more. The rumor is that she was raised here until she became of age, but years ago, on the night of Winter Solstice, she vanished, taking all hope for the kingdom of Winter Haven with her and breaking the king’s heart. The same king that killed my father. My own heart aches for a man I’ll never again see and a wound that never heals.

“Here, eat this.” I hand her what’s left of our provisions and head out into the trees for a moment alone, but not too far.

“What about you?” she calls after me.

“I’m not hungry.” I stomp off through the snow to pull myself together.

“Something else has been bothering me. What about Beatrix?” she asks the minute I’m back. “Birdy said she wasn’t there at the castle. You have to understand the way you feel about Birdy, that’s how I feel about Beatrix. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister. Doc and my other uncles, they’re my only family. If they’re from here, then why haven’t they come for me?”

Her questions shoot at me like rapid fire.

“Where do they think I am?” she continues, panic lacing her normally melodic voice.

“Princess, I swear to you, I don’t know. I didn’t touch Beatrix. She was at the bar when we left and came back through the mirrors. As for your uncles on the other side, again, I don’t know. But I promise you I’ll help you get the answers you seek.”

“What about—?”

“I think that’s enough questions for now. We need to keep moving. If you need to use the uh— facilities, now is your chance.” I rub the back of my neck, looking around.

“I’m fine.” She stands from the log she was resting on and shakes off the snow from her cape. “Just one more. How does she intend to access my… magical bloodline. If I even have it.”

“I don’t think—”

“No more secrets. I can handle it.” The pleading in her voice nearly breaks me.

I wish that were true.

Adelaide is standing in front of me now, and I think I much prefer answering her parade of questions when I’m not getting lost in her hazel eyes.