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Ashford Racing was willing to lose placings and millions of dollars to put Luca’s son in the seat and make it look legit. It’s another glimpse of Luca’s hand and the lengths he’s willing to go in order to have his way.
“I can’t believe that’s going to be one of you on the grid in a few months,” I say, setting the champagne flute on the side table and uncapping the water.
Theo spreads his hands. “Welcome to my life.”
“How do you deal with it?” I ask on impulse. “The circus, the roller coaster.”
“You can’t change it,” he says kindly. “You have to decide if you can live with it. If you can find ways to be yourself despite the circumstances.”
Jameson appears over Theo’s shoulder. “You’re in my seat.”
Theo winks at me. “This is my plan. I just need to get there first and refuse to leave.”
I start to laugh. Theo joins in.
Jameson drops into the seat next to mine. “I found a better one.”
He lifts the armrest and nods his chin at me. I curl into him, getting comfortable with my head against his shoulder.
My eyes drift closed on one last thought. Luca’s manipulating me. He’s also responsible for these two humans I’m grateful to have in my life. And I don’t know where that leaves us.
By the time I get home, I still haven’t figured it out.
“What if someone made you an offer but it came with strings attached?” I ask Dad over bacon strips and coffee at The Junction the next morning.
Even indoors, he’s wearing the ARI championship ball cap I brought him from São Paulo.
“Trouble with strings is you can rarely see what’s on the other end. Who’s really pulling them, and what it’ll cost you.”
My coffee mug warms both my hands, but I’m still cold on the inside. “If you had a chance to work on the grid again, would you take it?”
He turns it over, then shakes his head. “My time there is over.”
“But if it wasn’t for the accident, if it wasn’t for me, you’d still be there,” I point out.
His expression is troubled. He takes a bite of his pancakes, chasing it with a swig of OJ.
“A lot of things would have been different, Shay.” His gaze drops to my elbow, the scar there. “When you went in for surgery after the crash, you were so brave. The entire time you healed and through your rehab, you were the best patient. It keeps me up at night that the person who did it never faced the consequences.”
I’m shaking my head before he finishes. “But you couldn’t do anything about that.”
Dad sighs.
I reach across the table to snag a piece of bacon off his plate. I haven’t finished mine, so it’s more about lightening the mood.
“I wish your parents were still here,” Dad says after a moment.
“But then I wouldn’t have you.”
Finally, he smiles.
42
Shay
A week later, I still can’t find the right way to talk to Jameson about the ARI scandal. It really doesn’t seem like a text.
Hey miss your face. PS your dad tanked the F1 season. XOXO
