Page 42

“Of course.”

“And everything’s really okay?”

“Yes, no need to worry.”

Silence.

“Okay then. I’ll head off. See you tomorrow at the station.”

“You’re on night shift?”

“Yeah.”

“Take care then, Dave.”

“Goodnight, Bob.”

Shivering, Leaf clutched his legs and tried to ignore the pain in his back. The door burst open, and the light came on. His father grabbed him by the neck. Leaf squirmed and slowly rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t escape the chokehold.

“Look at me, you damned piece of shit!” his father growled, loosening his grip.

Leaf coughed and gasped for air. He forced himself to open his eyes.

“If you breathe a word about this at school, I’ll kill you. Do you understand?”

Leaf snapped his eyes open and jolted upright. His heart was racing, and his muscles felt like they were on fire. Sweating heavily, he sat in bed, still wearing his jeans. A sharp pain pulsed in his head, and a queasy feeling spread in his stomach. Exhausted, he fell back onto the pillow and covered his face with both hands.

They need to disappear. Silence. Numbness. Emptiness. Please.

Just then, someone touched his arm, and he flinched. “The dreams again?” Tristan asked.

Leaf sharply sucked in air, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes.

“Where are you?”

Questions like these were always a sign to him that the conversation was about to veer in the wrong direction. So he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “I’m right here.”

“No, you’re not.”

A sadness in Tristan’s whisper caused Leaf even more pain. The stabbing sensation between his eyes radiated to the back of his head, and he felt feverish. Restlessly, he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face. Then he reached for the cigarettes. Memories from back then, the beatings, the brown belt, the golden buckle, pounded in his head, and he felt the torn skin on his back.

The pressure inside him rose, the memories choking him. Staggering, he dragged himself to the living room. The right mix was needed. With trembling hands, he prepared two lines and snorted them.

Finally, the pain dissolved, and peace took its place. His self-esteem returned to balance. The memories were banished. He even felt light as he stepped onto the balcony and looked into the treetops.

Everything stood still. No wind, no comforting rustle. Only the oppressive heat, paralyzing everything like a potent drug.

The sound of the shower drifted from the bedroom. Thinking about seeing Tristan naked made him even hotter. Warmth surged into his core, causing his cock to swell. His tight jeans were no help and only made things worse. How often had he followed Tristan into the shower without a second thought?

Why couldn’t he go to him now?

He quickly reminded himself of the self-imposed prohibition. While he was glad that his desire for Tristan still lingered, he felt he didn’t deserve to act on it.

He wandered into the kitchen looking for a lighter. It wasn’t a total pigsty, but it definitely wasn’t clean either. He grabbed a glass from the shelf, filled it with water, then flicked the lighter and lit his cigarette.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, he smoked. His thoughts were jumbled, and he didn’t even try to organize them. At least his erection was gone. When Diego appeared in his mind’s eye, he knew what he had to do.

He headed straight to the living room. Amidst the drugs and empty beer bottles, his phone lay waiting. He checked his messages, then returned to the kitchen, still smoking. Of course, Diego hadn’t contacted him, but Leaf wouldn’t give up until he found him. So, he sent another text. As he tapped ash into the sink and took a deep drag of his cigarette, he also checked the chat history with Ariana. At least the two ticks confirmed she had read his message.