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He shrugged. “That’s what my family is like, and it’s not uncommon, as you know. My mother is mostly concerned with climbing her way to the top of the local gentry and my father is worried only about the acquisition of land to grow the Barrett fortune. Since Richard will inherit the entailed estate, he’s the one who receives my father’s attention. I was meant to find a profession where I earned a good enough income that I’d never bother him again.”

“But you became a writer.”

“Precisely. I was left largely on my own until I left school. I was allowed to enroll in Cambridge only because my father assumed I would make my living as a member of the clergy. I studied theology and philosophy, but I began to devour novels on the side. One day I began to write one and finally found what I wanted to do with my life. When I told my father I planned to live by my pen and perhaps teach, he cut me off.”

He cleared his throat, preparing for the part of his confession that made him most uncomfortable. “A few months before I met your father, when I was at my lowest point, my mother unexpectedly appeared in my rooms. She took one look at me and told me she would instruct my father to give me an income. A small one, but an income nonetheless. I didn’t want it and tried to argue with her, but I lost. It’s difficult to convince my mother of anything but what she wants, and in the end I was too cold from saving on coal to turn down an allowance.”

“You should never have had to make that choice,” said Ina.

“And yet I did. I took my father’s money, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t stop writing. I wasn’t going to bend to him.”

“I’m glad that your mother supported you,” she said.

He snorted. “Don’t let yourself be fooled into believing it was my mother’s kind heart that led her to make her offer. A friend had told her I’d been spotted at a party in a threadbare coat. I was bringing shame upon the family with my poverty. It was her pride in her own status that forced her to come, not maternal love. I’m not entirely sure she’s capable of such emotion.”

“I can see now why you weren’t particularly upset your family didn’t attend our wedding,” she said quietly.

He hesitated. He’d already told her so much. She didn’t need to hear the whole story of his heartbreak, nor did he wish to tell it.

“I didn’t find their lack of attendance a hindrance,” he said.

“Nonetheless, I’m sorry, Gavin,” she said, her hand stroking the arm that wrapped around her waist. He had to hold himself back from leaning into her touch and seeking comfort. The fight to win Ina would be won through little victories rather than grand battles.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “You’re my family now.”

When she stilled, he held his breath, wondering if perhaps he’d gone too far, but then a full smile broke out over her features.

“We’re each other’s, aren’t we?” she said.

“In the eyes of the law and God.”

“And since we’re husband and wife there should be no secrets between us,” she said.

“No secrets?”

Oh, there were secrets. Huge, earth-shattering secrets that he would never let another person know.

I’ve wanted you for years.

I don’t know how to be the husband you deserve.

I love you.

He couldn’t say any of this to her. It was still too soon and his heart was too raw.

“You weren’t the only one who worried after our wedding night,” she said.

His stomach twisted.

“I thought there was something wrong with me,” she continued, tracing a finger over his chest as she avoiding eye contact. “I feared you regretted marrying me or hated me for pushing you into this.”

“I could never regret that. You needed me, and the protection of a married name—my name—was the only thing I could offer.”

He’d have fought duels, crossed the earth, and moved mountains to make her happy. Instead, he’d stood at the altar and said the words so many other men before him had uttered.

“I want more than your name, Gavin,” she said.

“What are you saying?” he asked around the lump that had formed in his throat.