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“Fine,” he said. “You can come, but I’m the one who’s going to propose.”
“Of course!” said Helen with an all-too-innocent grin. “We wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Chapter Thirteen
“I don’t like seeing her like this.” Mary’s hushed voice drifted on the wind to Jane, who walked ahead of her two friends on the arm of the Earl of Asten. They were strolling along the well-kept gravel path inside Belgrave Square, taking advantage of an unusually rainless first of April. Jane had thought that getting out of Asten House and out from under the watchful eye of her caring if not a little overbearing friends would be good for her, but even from a distance she couldn’t fully escape their scrutiny.
“It’s only been two weeks. Give her some time,” said Elizabeth from behind her.
Eric—as Lord Asten had insisted she call him, since she called Elizabeth’s husband by his Christian name—squeezed her hand. “They mean well.”
She sighed. “I know. It’s just that I wish I didn’t feel quite so much like a butterfly trapped under a bell jar.”
“Mary enjoys having a project. If she still had my daughter’s wedding to plan, you might have had some respite.”
“She’ll have Elizabeth’s baby to fuss over in about six months,” she said, “but since the baby isn’t here yet, I suppose I’ll have to do.”
He chuckled and flicked his walking stick in sharp time with their synchronized steps. “Mary loves you. Elizabeth too.”
She knew that, just as she knew that her friends would never intentionally make her uncomfortable. However, it was hard to avoid when Jane was so unused to being the center of attention.
The roles the three friends had played for all the years they’d known each other had changed little when Elizabeth and Mary married, but Jane felt as though she was in the middle of a transformation. She just didn’t know what she was turning into.
She’d always felt like the sheltered one, protected against the difficulties of the world as much as her profession would allow. She’d had one position with one family for her entire time as a governess. Until Lady Margaret’s failed elopement, she’d never had any real reason to believe that her livelihood was in jeopardy. She’d been as caged in as her charge, only her jail had none of the advantages that came along with being the daughter of a peer.
“You know,” Eric said, breaking in to her thoughts, “I could find this Hollings and force him to marry you.”
In her mind’s eye, she could see the scene unfold. Eric and Edward, jackets off and sleeves pushed up in manly determination as they threatened to thrash Nicholas. They were as fiercely protective as the brothers she’d never had, and they would no doubt enjoy the task if only she’d give them leave to it. Except that she couldn’t.
Eric shook his head before she could reply. “No, that’ll never do. I can see already that you wouldn’t want him hurt.”
“No, I wouldn’t want that,” she said quietly.
“But if this Hollings took”—Eric looked uncomfortable as he searched for the right word—“liberties with you, he should at least stand up like a gentleman and do the right thing.”
She lifted her face to the rare spring warmth, using it as an excuse to try to hide the emotion in her eyes. No matter how much she schooled her features, she hadn’t been able to keep the twist of pain from reaching her eyes when she heard his name. “He already asked me to marry him. I told him that I wouldn’t.”
Eric looked at her with surprise. “Why? It seems clear to me that you love him.”
“I do love him,” she said, “but he has sisters. Sisters who aren’t married.”
The significance she put behind her words had Eric lifting his brows in comprehension. “I see.”
“Then you’ll understand that it’s impossible.”
“It’s hogwash, that’s what it is.”
“Eric!” she protested, more than a little shocked that he would call her out in such a manner.
“I had an unwed daughter when I asked Mary to marry me.”
“Eleanora’s the daughter of an earl. This is different.”
“No, it’s not,” he said. “Imagine what would’ve happened if Mary had said no.”
“She did say no,” she pointed out.
“And it still worked itself out.” He stopped and turned to her right as they reached the locked gate of the square. “Circumstances are never going to be perfect, Jane. If you spend your entire life waiting around for the stars or planets to align, you’ll never get around to doing anything.”
