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“Of course not. I understood what he was, and I didn’t care. At least I was smart enough to know I was going to get something out of it. What’s your excuse?”

This time the jab hit home, slicing her across the heart with exacting precision. Jane had no explanation for her behavior. She’d wanted Nicholas, and so she’d had him. She could hardly moralize to the young lady whose education and moral compass she was meant to be guiding. In every respect, Jane was a fallen woman.

“What concerns me most is your future,” she said.

Lady Margaret tapped a finger against her chin as though deep in thought. “Now I wonder, should I write Mamma and let her know that my governess is traveling in the company of a gentleman now or after luncheon?”

“Don’t be spiteful,” Jane said as Nicholas stepped out in front of her and said, “You ungrateful child.”

That got Lady Margaret’s attention. “I’m not a child,” her charge bristled.

“It’s difficult to tell when you’re acting like one,” said Nicholas. “And I will ask you not to speak with such disrespect to the woman I plan to marry.”

“What?” both Lady Margaret and Jane said at the same time.

Nicholas grasped her hand, his features softening with a warmth that could’ve been love if only Jane could let herself believe it. “Of course we’ll marry, Jane,” he said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Her heart was pounding against her chest as though it were about to burst. Except it wasn’t the joyful, swooping delight she’d always dreamed of. This felt more like dread.

“Nicholas, think about what you’re saying,” she said.

Nicholas bent down on one knee and kissed the back of her hand—a formal gesture that still made her blood sing despite the panic edging in and making it hard to breathe. “I should’ve asked you last night or this morning, but I didn’t want to do it when you were still preoccupied with our search. Marry me, Jane. I’d never even entertained the thought of a wife until you came along. Everything has been about my family and seeing Effie and Helen settled. I always thought that there’d be time after, but now I know—”

“But that’s why I can’t,” she blurted.

His face stayed composed, but in his eyes she could see him shatter into a thousand pieces. “You can’t or you won’t?”

She dropped to her knees with him right there in the inn’s entryway with Lady Margaret looking on, and yet she didn’t care. All at once she was going to break his heart and snuff out the little ember of happiness that glowed in her chest simply because it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t just Nicholas and herself she had to think of. There were two other people in this engagement as well.

“Don’t you see?” She touched the tips of her fingers to his chest and bowed her head. “If you married me, it would ruin every chance of your sisters marrying well.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

The fierceness of his words cut through her—one thousand little cuts that she knew would never heal. And yet she couldn’t stop herself.

“It’s the truth. They’ll become as notorious as I will. It will spoil everything you’ve planned for and dash any hopes they might have of finding their own happiness. They’ll be unmarriageable, and believe me when I say I would never burden another woman with that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he said.

“But it’s not. Don’t you see?” She turned to her charge for support. “Lady Margaret, how would a governess who married a baron be welcomed in London?”

To her credit, her charge hesitated before answering. “She wouldn’t be, unless he were rich as Midas. Wealth changes everything.”

“And his sisters?” Jane asked, driving home the painful truth.

Lady Margaret shook her head. “Maybe in a season or two once the scandal died down. Again, wealth helps . . .”

“Which is one thing you know I don’t have,” said Nicholas, his fists clenching at his sides.

“I’m sorry, Nicholas. If it were just me, it would be different, but it’s not.” She took a deep breath and let go. “Please understand that I can’t marry you.”

“No.” His voice cracked under all of the frustration and anger she knew he’d been holding back—probably for years. “I’ve given up my whole life for my sisters, but I will not give you up.” He grasped her hands and shook them. “Do you love me?”

“I’ve known you less than a week,” she whispered.

“A week hardly matters. My life is tangled in yours. My happiness is wrapped up in you. I know because I feel it too. I never thought I’d meet a woman who would make me want to give up everything for the chance to see her smile. I love you, Jane. Tell me that one day you might love me. Please.”

I love you when I thought I would never love anyone. Her silent confession overwhelmed her, but he was never going to hear those words from her lips. She wasn’t going to make him choose her over the happiness of the two young ladies he adored most in this world. If she accepted his proposal, she wouldn’t just be condemning his sisters to a possible life of spinsterhood. Nicholas would learn to resent her. He wouldn’t be able to help it. His love for Effie and Helen was too strong. He’d eventually grow to hate Jane for coming between them and their chance at happiness.