The Haunting of Lavender House
Page 61
“And how do I know the Evil Eye wasn’t just some ruse for your own devilry?” he asked.
I could see then that a wall had risen between us, one I didn’t know how to penetrate. Why would I want Ana dead? Marko had poisoned his mind. Or maybe it was grief. I’ve witnessed how it often clouds people’s judgment. But I was grieving too. Why couldn’t he see that?
I called his name again and moved toward him. But he grabbed an iron chain from the table. “Stay back, mora.”
My heart stopped. Not him too. I stared at him, trembling, the world tilting beneath my feet. I had to grip the table to steady myself.
“I’m not a mora,” I whispered. I suspected it was hopeless, but I tried to remind him of our love. “You brought me to your room, your bed.”
“You enchanted me,” he said. “I wasn’t in my right mind.”
I latched on to his words. “Perhaps neither of us were. Dealing with the Evil Eye was terrifying. But we faced it together. What we had was special. Wonderful.”
“It was a trick. A way to steal my home and fortune. I remember the way you tried to take my mother’s necklace. You said yourself this place was like Heaven to you.”
So I had. But now it felt like Hell.
“I told you, I had merely forgotten to take it off. And I only called this place Heaven because I was happy. With you.”
I stood there, lost, as tears streamed down my face. For a brief moment, I saw something soft in his gaze—the old Nikola, the one who had cared for me, who had promised we’d get through this together. But when I tried to reach for him, he lifted the chain again.
“Leave,” he said, his voice cold. “And never torment me again.”
Torment—that’s exactly what this is. But I still recall that flicker in his eyes. I know he still cares for me. It is the grief. It has skewed his memories, muddling everything. Made him susceptible to Marko’s lies. Maybe Nikola blames himself too, for the part he played. I just need to give him time. He’ll remember what we had. The flame is still there. It hasn’t gone out.
I just need to give him time.
Time.
It ebbs and flows like a haze. A mirage. I sleep and hunt. Catch fish and hide. Cry and shout. Sit in the darkness where no one can see me.
I exist. I disappear.
He is watching me. Waiting. The wolf.
He is standing across the field, stalking back and forth with his yellow eyes.
I told him to leave me alone. To go away. “I am not like Joséphine,” I called out. “I do not have evil lurking in my heart.” I will not be tempted by the Devil.
But I suspect he doesn’t believe me.
In my dreams, I visit Lavender House again. Nikola is with me on the balcony, embracing me from behind. We go out into the field and dance the kolo with Ana and Antula and Joséphine, spinning round and round, floating up into the sky. We laugh, and sing, and cry.
Why can I not stop crying?
I found a patch of lavender in the woods today. I don’t know what came over me, but I tore it all out from the earth, screaming like a wild animal.
Nikola.
Nikola.
NIKOLA.
NikolaNikolaNikolaNikolaNikolaNikolaNikolaNikolaNikolaNIKOLA
Where are you???
I can hardly believe it. A miracle has occurred.