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I couldn’t tell if he was blushing in the dim candlelight, but I felt his warmth as he leaned over and pressed his lips to my forehead. “What would you like to do today?”

“Not see the king, if I can help it.” I sighed. “Or Eliza, for that matter.”

“She’s not a spy, you know,” said Beric. “Neither of us tell the king anything other than what he needs to know.”

“You spoke with her?” Immediately I felt ashamed, forcing myself to sit up to push past it. “Of course you did. I’m sure she told you how awful I’d treated her.”

“Eliza can take anything thrown at her—there’s no hurting her feelings. Anyway, she’s dealt with me through my worst, which couldn’t have been easy.” A fond grin graced Beric’s lips. He helped me to my feet, removing his robe and wrapping it around me. “But if she was harsh with you, it was only out of love for me. Make peace with her, for my sake. I couldn’t bear for my two favorite girls to be at odds.”

I nodded, my shame only increasing. The sooner I apologized, the better. But there was no sense in stressing myself over it now—I couldn’t fix things until I saw her. For the moment, I preferred to just enjoy my time with Beric.

He escorted me to my room—I hated the idea of having the king potentially hear us, but I needed something new to wear. And I nearly yelled at Beric to stop when he opened the doors in the adjoining hall to peek in the king’s room.

“He’s not in there,” Beric said, his confusion evident. “He never leaves his room unless he has to, and never this early.”

He sounded concerned, but I was relieved. Part of me hoped something would happen to the king and he’d never return, as irrational as it sounded.

“You know what I’d like to do?” I said, to distract my darling squire from his worries.

Beric grinned, stroking my chin gently. “What would you like to do?”

“I’d like to feed Ivy some carrots,” I said, holding Beric’s wrist so he wouldn’t stop petting me. “Have a picnic with you in the gardens. And not deal with another person for the rest of the day.”

“We can definitely arrange that.”

I didn’t want to spend more time in here than necessary, so I didn’t bother to bathe. But I was already beginning to miss Faline and Eliza—selecting a dress out of so many was a harder decision than I thought, and having them here to do it for me was more of a blessing than I’d realized. But it was another hour before I normally got up, and I saw no sense in disturbing them this early, especially since I wasn’t sure about what to say to Eliza quite yet.

It wasn’t until I was nearly dressed that I realized that this was the first time in my life a boy had assisted me. The thought made me blush, and yet I hadn’t felt uncomfortable at all—Beric was so professional and respectful, so serious about his job, that there was no way on earth I could possibly feel unsafe.

Honestly, it endeared him to me even more.

CHAPTER37CALLIOPE

To my disappointment, the king had not suffered any accidents by the end of the day, though there was an air of unease about the palace. Still I wouldn’t let that rattle me—I would sleep in my own room, in my own bed. The king would not bully me into doing otherwise. He needed me, after all. And who was to say I wasn’t as powerful as he was? After all, he’d had Beric do his dirty work with the duke. And he’d attacked poor Kat, who lacked magic to defend herself, while her back was turned.

If I could hold back a demon from hell with my power, I dared the king to even try his tricks with me.

My confidence held as Beric dressed me for bed and kissed me good night, yet swiftly fled with his footfalls down the hall. I had a heavy desire to chase him down and drag him back to my room.

I could protect myself. I was a skilled knight. But I still had no idea how my power compared to the king’s, whether my magic would be enough without Beric there to amplify it. I hadn’t even seen the king hold off The Dark yet. And after getting injured in the chaos there myself, I was worried that nerves and fear would get the better of me in the moment. After all, I was a healer whose greatest foes my entire life had been an unaffectionate aunt and a selfish cousin. Not exactly life-threatening.

I sat on the end of my bed, watching the door leading to the king’s room, listening for his movements. “What did you sign up for, Cali?” I whispered.

After building my confidence all day, the truth was crashing down now. I could have never predicted that The Dark would be far less terrifying than the God King meant to protect us from it.

I got into bed, taking out Vi’s journal to distract myself. As if any of her vile words would make me feel less anxious than I already did, but at least it was a distraction. I turned page after page. Empty. Well, empty, save for the last page, dated only two weeks ago.

As suspected, all my companions are the king’s spies, for I have discovered that the princess is the stonemage.

Well, that I’d already discovered.

I have asked her to stop, but she’s afraid of repercussions. I am not. I know the king’s true secret. I know how to rid the world of both him and The Dark at once. Kill him, and the demon flees with him.

Suddenly the strange way he always used “we” when speaking of himself, the similarities in appearance between the demon and the king’s mask that I’d found so unsettling, every dissonance I’d ever felt from him, hit me with full clarity. The king had more to do with The Dark than just battling it, and here it was in ink, from the very knight who came before me.

I should not put this in writing, but I want to look back at the date I wrote this after the deed is done.

If I die, I die. But I’m taking him with me.