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“Your Majesty—”

“Your hesitation disturbs us, Lord Beric,” he said, his voice quiet and calm. “Should we begin to question your loyalty to the crown?”

I knew then, there was no talking him out of it. And I wasn’t going to risk diluting his trust. There was really nothing to be done but to obey.

“No hesitation, sire,” I said. “I was just wondering which sword you would prefer for me to use—mine or his?”

The king chuckled, leaning back on his throne. “Good lad. That’s an excellent question. Let’s go with yours—it’s far prettier, and we haven’t seen it in action in days.”

I bowed and turned away, closing my eyes briefly. If only I could kill the king instead. It was a futile thought I shoved away quickly. If onlys would never do me any good. The king wanted to be entertained, and people would suffer unless I performed. Just do it quickly, Beric.

“God, forgive me,” I whispered.

I put in my earplugs, closing myself off to the rest of the world, quickly shifting my mindset into the version of myself who didn’t care who lived or died, so long as my knight was protected. So long as the crown was appeased. The duke was no longer a man, but a target to dispatch.

I strode forward, grabbing my target by the back of the collar as he reached down for his dropped sword. If there were protests, they were in vain. Nobles scrambled out of the way as I slammed my target face-first onto one of the tables and, before he could twist away, brought my blade down on the back of his neck. The wooden table collapsed in two, food, dishes, and glasses all sliding toward the divided middle, shattering on top of the bloody mess.

I couldn’t tell if I was hearing horrified screams or jubilant cheers. Perhaps a combination, but within my bubble, it was just a jumble of distant nonsense. Pointless, monstrous noise.

Quickly, I turned and bowed to the king, who slowly clapped, nodding his approval. I wouldn’t let that appreciation make me sick, not yet. For the moment, his praise would remain hollow, as the rest of what I’d done felt. Until I made it inside and changed my blood-splattered clothing, I refused to feel anything. Numb to the horror of it all.

Just like Vi had always taught me.

CHAPTER 29CALLIOPE

None of this was right.

That we should run, just because the king was in an undesirable mood.… It could have been over so quickly if someone had just diverted him from thinking of a duel. Instead of sneaking us away, as if we were simply at his mercy. It seemed rather ridiculous, that a knight whose job it was to protect the king from demons would be forced to leave merely because a situation had become tense.

Or maybe this was easy to think because the king’s veil and headpiece had stayed securely on his head. If I had seen that hateful expression, those eyes of a sleeping dragon, perhaps I would think differently. Even if he did wear the face of a demon.

As of now, though, I simply didn’t understand. It was frustrating beyond belief to never be told anything, to be the last to know what was actually going on in this palace. But I had every faith that Beric would talk the king down, resolve this peacefully. That this whole thing had just been a mistake. An overreaction.

And yet, Albert gripped me as if he were whisking me away from threat of the gallows.

“Albert, for goodness’ sake,” I said, as we exited the gardens.

He released me, but kept his hand at my back, guiding me forward. “I’m sorry, my lady, but it is my job to keep you safe.”

“I was not the one in danger back there.”

Albert looked at me as if my statement couldn’t have been further from the truth, and I was more confused than ever.

Anise spotted me, her eyes wide and disturbed as she rushed over to me. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “They sent me away before it was resolved.”

“Why would Beric fight a man who was clearly drunk?”

“This is not Beric’s fault,” I said, defensively. Your fiancé was completely uncouth was what I didn’t say. Now wasn’t the time, when she was worried for his safety. When we had no idea what was going on. “This is just a misunderstanding. A horrible misunderstanding.”

“Yes. A misunderstanding.” She grabbed my hand, and I felt myself jolt at the gesture. We hadn’t held hands since I was too young to realize she hated me. “The king greeted me kindly today, after all. He wouldn’t order the death of my fiancé.”

I took a breath but kept silent. Was she speaking of the same king? The one who executed people once a week, like it was a ritual? How could I bear to tell her that any show of kindness from him was an act?

Albert took my elbow, gently. “Come inside, my lady. If there’s any news, I’ll bring it to you immediately.”

Ann and I looked at each other, but went in.