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“You … selected me because I was kind to you?”
He cleared his throat. “Well, it sounds ridiculous now that you’ve said it that way.”
“I don’t think it does.”
He shook his head. “It was foolish. There were knights who basically matched the specifications, whom I rejected solely for their demeanor. It felt outrageous, turning down talented knights just to … I don’t know. Feel something other than unhappy.”
I had an urge to reach out and touch him, but held back. “I’m a bit ashamed of the way I treated you at the beginning.”
“It’s fine.”
I frowned. “It’s not.”
“You had an … encumbrance.”
I laughed. “Is that what we’re referring to my cousin as, now? An encumbrance?”
“Would you prefer a different term?”
I smirked. “Through the haze of my pain, I did rather enjoy you calling her a barnacle.”
We laughed. He sounded so nice when he laughed, just like when he sang. And when he spoke. His voice was perfect.
“Anyway,” I said, gathering up Beric’s robe so it wouldn’t drag on the floor, “I’m relieved. Being selected for this position has been such an adventure, and I’ve enjoyed every moment I’ve spent with Eliza and Faline. But I don’t believe I’ve felt quite at ease until this moment.”
“Until this moment…?” he asked, and I don’t know why his soothing tone made me blush.
“Having a real, true squire to protect me.” I felt giddy as the words left me, but I tried to appear calm. “Especially after what happened in The Dark.”
“You handled yourself well against that demon. Better than I anticipated, honestly. I’m happy to do anything I can for you, but you don’t really need my protection.”
“What’s wrong with having something you don’t necessarily need?” I asked. “Why can’t we have things just because we want them?”
He raised his brows. “I suppose that’s valid.”
“Besides,” I said, and I found myself playing with the hem of his shirt. He looked down at what I was doing, but didn’t make me stop. “Knights are capable, but why does that mean we have to do everything ourselves? Why can’t a girl with powerful protection and healing magic have a boy with a sword protect her and make her feel special if she wants?”
I was certain Beric’s ears turned rosy in the lantern light.
“Whatever pleases you, my lady,” he said, shyly.
“Having you by my side pleases me greatly.”
All too soon, we were in front of my room. I leaned my back against the door, barring him from opening it for me, certain he could sense how nervous I felt. “Lady Vi was blessed to have such an attentive squire. Even if she didn’t deserve you.”
Beric shook his head. “Lady Vi didn’t get this version of me.”
“O-oh.” Words fled so swiftly, for a moment all I could do was stare at him. I wished more than anything I wasn’t in a chemise, gripping his heavy robe to my chest to keep myself decent. That I was dressed in something beautiful, something worthy of such a confession.
Because—and maybe it was only because I wanted it to mean something—his words were a show of more feeling than I’d ever received from him. Than I’d ever received from anyone, really.
In my heart, he might as well have said he loved me.
Don’t be ridiculous, Cali.
“Your robe is like your handkerchief,” I said, removing it and gripping it in both hands. “I’m only interested in using it if it’s been on your person, first.”
“I’ll make a note of that.” He took his robe from me, and I hoped he couldn’t feel my hands trembling. He put it on, as if anticipating I might ask for it again. “But you aren’t dressed, my lady, so please go inside where it’s warm.”
