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“I’m sorry,” I said, preemptively.

Her hands froze, resting gently, warm and wonderful against my shoulders. And even though I couldn’t see her expression, distress carried in her voice when she asked, “Whatever for?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. What would make the most sense to her. How to explain that conversations which began this way more often than not ended badly for me?

Instead I stood, so abruptly Cali’s hands slid down from my shoulders to my chest. For a second I lost my breath, but I moved on toward the door quickly to catch it. To understand what was happening. To push back this overwhelming urge heating me from the inside out. Because all I wanted in this world was to make her feel safe and happy. To care for her. To love her in all ways possible.

But the thought that she might find me far too different, that she might be repelled by me for the exact reason Vi hated me for all those years … I couldn’t bear to be rejected that way again. Especially not by this gorgeous, strong, vibrant girl, whom I held in such high regard.

“Are you all right, Beric?” Cali asked.

“No,” I said, quickly, but couldn’t tell if that was true. “I don’t know.”

You’re so beautiful, I can hardly breathe.

That’s what I should have said to her on our walk. Now she was presenting me with the opportunity again, and I’d all but lost my courage. She’d asked the king to be rid of her cousin for me, and I’d never had anyone do something so nice for me in all my life. I wanted to kiss her, but that seemed too extreme.

“We should inform Eliza and Faline of your room change, as soon as possible,” I said, nerves increasing when I heard her approach. “It will take some time for them to arrange it if you are to sleep here tonight.”

“Okay,” she said, quietly, hesitantly. I felt the gentle tug of her fingers on the back of my shirt and nearly broke. “This room feels farther from everything than my current room. I hope it won’t inconvenience you.”

I grinned. I didn’t dare turn around, didn’t dare break her sweet contact against my shirt. “Much more convenient, actually. We’ll be living on the same floor now.”

“Your role of babysitter will be that much easier.”

I laughed, and when I turned to her, she looked so sweet smiling from ear to ear. “Help me move into my new room? Please, Beric?”

She took my hand, leading me out into the hall, and I quickly redirected her on the correct path.

CHAPTER 2424CALLIOPE

The king truly was a dragon, trapped in human form. Smoke and all. And I don’t think I was going crazy in thinking that the headdress he wore in public looked exactly like the head of the demon we’d fought in The Dark, that he had slain one of the demons himself to wear as a trophy. He was indeed the legendary hero the songs spoke of. Brave and powerful and slightly terrifying … but, ultimately, benevolent.

Seeing him in that vulnerable state, as I had when we’d first met, erased all my fear of a dragon. The black now simply seemed like his aftersmoke of magic, which was so very normal to me that it seemed irrational to be afraid. He was just a person. A very grumpy, entitled person, but still. Though I suppose he was a king, which was some excuse. More excuse than my cousin had, anyway.

Now that I understand him a bit better, perhaps living beside him won’t be so scary, I thought, entering my new room.

My previous room was large, but entering the space adjoining the king’s was truly like stepping into a fairy tale. It had been prepared to be almost like a small cottage. The bed was as large as the king’s, with a heavy canopy and curtain that could pull shut to keep out the firelight. In one corner there was a large comfortable chair, in another a cabinet full of healing herbs, along with a small area to brew tea. I had everything I needed here—except for windows, which seemed a bit odd. But, seeing as The Dark hadn’t been a threat before two hundred years ago, I supposed this room hadn’t been built with the thought that someone might sleep here and require fresh air.

I didn’t know how everything could be done so quickly in the palace, as if there were spirits in the walls who moved things around while we slept. But all my new clothes were here, as well. I kept finding things to delight over, joys and necessities alike awaiting me. Expectant, I opened the drawer near my bed and …

I paused. No, this wasn’t mine. It was a journal, worn and crinkled, discolored. And suddenly I knew.

Closing the drawer as casually as I could, I got up. I couldn’t let Eliza and Faline know I was now in possession of Lady Vi’s journal—I had no idea why I felt this had to be secret, but I didn’t want it to be taken away before I could read it.

I hesitated before opening the second door, peering into a dark stone archway. A short passage, no more than ten feet, ended with another door … the door leading to the king’s room.

Somehow, it felt different to see this passage and not be heading toward Beric, with whom I felt so safe. But perhaps now that the king trusted me enough to live beside him, he would be kinder.

Still, I shut the door as quietly as I could, part of me wishing there was a deadbolt, the other part far too optimistic to fret.

I climbed up onto my high bed and flopped onto my back, enjoying how luxuriously plush it was, staring up at the shimmering canopy.

“Do you think she likes her new room?” I heard Eliza say with a chuckle.

I sat up, dangling my legs from the edge. It wasn’t even so much that I liked it, which I most certainly did. It was that it was mine. Truly mine. Not some guest room, where my cousin could intrude whenever she pleased. It was as if I had my very own home.

When my maids finally left, I immediately pulled out the journal. It was a bit dusty and dingy, the cover and pages damaged by moisture. The years of wear had made the pages a bit stiff, and some of them were even stuck together.