Page 59

He’d recognized it as teasing, at least. Progress. “You saved my life. There is nothing to forgive.”

He nodded but directed his gaze to the floor. “It’s my sworn duty to protect you, but if I ever make you uncomfortable—”

“You don’t,” I blurted. The last thing I wanted was to chase him away. He was a bit uptight and overbearing, and I was almost certain he hadn’t been born with any sense of humor. But he had done nothing but support me since I’d arrived. I felt foolish now, for pushing him away so often, and over my cousin, of all people.

Still, it was a bit embarrassing. I suddenly felt just as foolish for clinging to him as I had in the coach, and as I had done at my audition when I feared I wouldn’t see him again. I’d never needed anyone, and it felt ridiculous to even posture that I might need this serious boy.

This serious, beautiful boy.

And yet I did need him, in a way that was beyond a squire’s duty, and I couldn’t for the life of me explain why he felt so important to me so quickly.

But none of that mattered if I didn’t get Anise what she wanted. Unless she received a proposal soon—from a man she hadn’t yet spent substantial time with—there was no way I could allow Beric to squire me, as much as I wanted him to. It was a relief that we wouldn’t be encountering The Dark again yet. Because, as of now, I didn’t trust Anise with anything, not even to continue the ruse she’d bullied me into. We were cousins, and yet I couldn’t even fully describe how betrayed I felt by her behavior today. Even despite the nice conversation we had afterward.

“You’re troubled,” Beric broke the silence, as if reading my thoughts.

“Just a bit shaken from earlier,” I replied, with a weary smile. “And tired.”

Beric hesitated, as if he hadn’t anticipated my words. “I’ll leave you to sleep, then.”

My heart panicked. I had to find some excuse to make him stay. “I’ve slept an awful lot today,” I said, quickly. “I should probably do something active, instead.”

“Oh.” Seeing the small spark of joy in his dark eyes then, there and concealed in the next moment by his reserve, was enough to make me grin. “I was on my way to the abbey. To pray. If—”

“I could use some prayer after today,” I said, but bit my lip. I’d interrupted him, and he seemed flustered all over again. God, it was cute. “Do you pray there often?” I prompted.

“Yes, but…” He cleared his throat. “The path there is very pleasant.”

“Is it?”

“And as it doesn’t look to be raining, perhaps you’d like to walk there with me?”

The thought of Beric wanting to do anything other than his squirely duty seemed so impossible that it immediately made me smile. This was exactly what I’d hoped for. “I’ll get my shawl.”

He nodded and stepped out of my doorway to wait in the hall.

When I turned, Eliza had my shawl in her hands, holding it up for me. “I know I’m supposed to just stand quietly and act like I’m not here.…”

“Please do,” I pleaded, accepting the shawl over my shoulders. “I already know what you’re going to say.”

“That I’ve never seen Beric behave this way in all his life?”

I froze. That wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all. I looked at Eliza over my shoulder.

She grinned. “We’ll stay as far back as we dare, if you promise to tell us everything later.”

CHAPTER22CALLIOPE

The last time I’d traveled this path from the palace to the abbey had not been my favorite day. I hadn’t been able to take anything in then, because of the stress of the wedding. Today felt so very different. So very lovely. Perhaps because it meant something different to me.

Eliza and Faline walked arm in arm, and they were indeed farther behind than I’d ever seen them—so far that I don’t think Eliza would’ve understood the intent of my expressions if I’d turned to make faces at her, which I was sorely tempted to do. But that was for the best. I didn’t want to do anything that would make Beric nervous. Make him change his mind.

And he seemed calmer than I felt, strolling beside me with his hands behind his back. Still, he was quiet, as he normally was, so if I wanted a confession before the end of this walk, I needed to warm him up a little.

“You were right,” I said. “This is a pleasant walk.”

He nodded. “The air is nice.”

“Very.”