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“But you are.”

She looked at me, and my stomach began to ache all over again.

This had to stop. I had to stop.

I opened the door to her room, pushing it wide. “Go inside.”

Cali’s nose scrunched. “Goodness, my lord, how bossy you are.”

“Please,” I added, though I could hardly look at her. “I ask it for your safety, my lady.”

“You didn’t ask anything.” But she didn’t force me to correct my behavior as she stepped inside the doorway. She leaned a bit against the doorframe, bumping it with her hip like a metronome so her dress swished. “Is this what squiring is? Making sure your knight goes to bed on time?”

“Glorified babysitting,” I confirmed, and she let out the cutest laugh I’d ever heard, a sound that conjured an emotion in me I’d never felt before … and an even stranger desire to kiss her.

Instead of yielding to it, I placed my hand on her stomach to guide her farther into the room, then took hold of the doorknob quickly. “Good night, my lady.”

She was still smiling. Breathless from her laughter. Beautiful. “Good night, my lord.”

And I shut her into her room and hurried down the hall, banishing the thought of turning right back around and doing something unholy.

CHAPTER 15CALLIOPE

When Faline woke me the next morning my first thought was of Beric. Of his sweet confusion about his handkerchief. Of the ease with which he removed my armor. Of my finger in his mouth. How it should have felt taboo to keep thinking of it. How insane I felt for wanting to feel it again.

You’re supposed to hate him, remember?

But then, I was sure he hated me. I hadn’t been very poised during … the incident. I’m sure he thought I was disgusted by him, that I never wanted him to touch me again. To the point that me inviting him to walk with me hadn’t made any difference. He’d closed me into my room so abruptly, when I’d been so certain‚ had maybe even hoped, that he might kiss me.

Nonsense, Cali. There you go again, creating fairy tales in your head.

I should’ve just dried my face and gone back to the reception, instead of running away to bed. I should’ve made certain that Anise had found a man who would marry her—and quickly. Because if she hadn’t, I was stuck with our awful arrangement that required pushing Beric away.

Eliza brought me breakfast, but I found I couldn’t eat anything but an apple. I don’t know why I felt so much anticipation for the day. As if something good was coming.

Eliza dressed me in all white, including elegant leather fingerless gloves and white boots. The skirt wasn’t as full or wide as my usual dresses, but it did have a pleasant swish when I moved.

“White doesn’t seem an ideal color for fighting off evil,” I said.

“They are a bear to clean,” Eliza said, agreeing. “But it’s important that the king and Beric can see you in the dark in … The Dark.”

We smirked at each other.

I was about to ask how they’d gotten them so white, until I realized Lady Vi must have died in hers. This was a new dress, just for me. How had they made it so quickly?

I suppose the same way they put on a royal wedding in a day.

When I exited my room, Albert was in his usual spot, along with another guard standing in stern alert over Anise. She was in all white as well, but not a white so new and fine as mine. In fact, her dress didn’t fit her very well, only staying on her at all because of the high neckline and corset. It must be killing her inside, I knew. It was awful of me, but I felt giddy over it.

“Oh, this is not fair at all,” she fussed. “You get to dress like an angel, and I’m stuck looking like the local washerwoman?”

I grinned. Not only because her dress was indeed atrocious, but because that was the nicest unintentional compliment Ann had ever given me.

“Well,” I said, allowing my maids to lead us down the hall, “we’d better find you a husband sooner rather than later, then.”

At the mention of husbands, Ann’s expression brightened. “Those insufferable guards blocked my door yesterday, or I would have told you: I met a duke!” She fished a letter from her pocket and waved it at me. “And he’s already written to me this morning.”

And there was my good news. “That’s wonderful, Ann.”