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“Are you real?” she blurted out.
He blinked and then smiled so that his dimple popped. Cordelia felt something rip inside her chest. “Yes,” he said. “I’m real.”
“How—how are you here?” she asked. Her legs were beginning to tremble, her breath coming too quick.
Niall gave an embarrassed shrug. “Róisín,” he said. “She, um, told me what you told her. After we … broke up. Please don’t be mad, she wouldn’t have, except that I quit the job in London and she said that she didn’t need to keep her promise to you anymore, and anyway she said I was stupid to believe that you didn’t want me. Well, she had a fair bit to say on the subject, as I’m sure you can imagine, but the point is she told me to get on a plane so I can tell you how I feel and so I did, though I couldn’t get a ticket until today and I thought maybe you’d be out at a party or something, but I …” His voice trailed off. He shifted from foot to foot. “Christ, have I fucked this up? Am I too late? I’ll understand if you want me to go.”
“Go?” Cordelia said. She was still trying to sort out everything Niall had said because it sounded very much like he’d missed her and wanted her back, but she had been so determined never to hope for that, it was messing with her head. “Why would I want you to go?”
Niall’s cheeks turned pink. “I don’t know if you’ve got another fella, or if you’ve moved on, or …”
The thing trying to claw its way out of her finally shook loose and Cordelia burst into laughter that was so loud it was borderline hysterical.
“Cord?” Niall said, looking really concerned now, and she couldn’t blame him but she couldn’t stop either. Cordelia laughed until her side ached, and then she finally gazed at him, standing in her doorway. Niall was real and true and here, and it felt like the sun rising inside her, it felt like the world had turned to Kodachrome colors, too dazzling to bear.
She held up her hand with the grass ring. A spasm of some strong emotion flashed across Niall’s face at the sight of it.
“I haven’t moved on,” she said, and her voice broke. “And I don’t have a fella. There’s been nothing but you, Niall, all these months, I haven’t been able to focus, I haven’t been happy, I haven’t been anything. I’ve—”
But she didn’t get a chance to finish because in one stride he was inside her apartment, the door slamming shut behind him. He scooped her up in his arms and his mouth found hers, and Cordelia’s heart was beating so hard she thought it might burst.
She kissed him like she was starving and he was her last meal. Her mouth was hungry for him, her lips greedy and insistent. She curled herself around him, her hands grappling at his peacoat, like she could tear through it and shred it with her bare hands. She wanted the curves of Niall’s body, the planes of his chest, the dent of his hips, the rounds of his shoulders. She wanted to taste the base of his throat and the small of his back. She wanted to consume him whole. His hands sank into her hair as she fumbled with the buttons on his coat. She ripped it off and it fell to the floor.
She pulled back for a moment, drinking him in, still not quite sure this was real.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he whispered. His voice was rough, sending shivers up her spine.
“I’m trying to decide if you’re a hallucination.”
He gave a low chuckle and she felt its echo between her thighs. “I promise you I’m real,” he murmured. “Let me prove it.”
He took her mouth gently then, his lips patient and sure. He kissed a little trail to her left ear and tugged her lobe between his teeth. Cordelia gasped, a flood of memories coming from that one little tug. He kissed another trail down her neck then along her collarbone.
“These are very nice jammies,” he said, his hand teasing at the zipper.
Cordelia had completely forgotten what she was wearing and she blushed so hard her hair stood on end.
“Oh!” she gasped, her hands clapping over her mouth, but Niall just groaned.
“I forgot how gorgeous you are when you blush,” he said, and his mouth came back to hers. He tugged at the zipper so that it opened down to the center of her breastbone, exposing a wide expanse of skin. He placed one hand across her chest, his thumb skimming the bottom curve of her breast, and Cordelia sucked in a breath.
“I feel your heart,” Niall murmured in her ear. “My god, it’s like a hummingbird.”
“I want to feel yours,” she whispered.
“As you command,” he said, and in one fluid movement, his sweater was off. He stood in front of her shirtless, ivory skin covered in fine black hairs, and Cordelia thought this was too much, he couldn’t possibly be for her. She was going to melt into a puddle on the floor or vanish in a puff of smoke. These feelings were simply too big for her small frame to contain. She pressed her hand against his chest and felt the steady thrum beneath her palm. He was breathing hard.
“You know,” Niall said. “I had a whole speech planned.”
“Did you?” Cordelia asked, marveling at the feel of muscle beneath skin, tracing her nails down his stomach and making him shiver. She hooked her fingers under the waist of his jeans.
“Yes, it was going to be—oh god,” Niall moaned as she slid her hand between his thighs, feeling his hardness pressing against her palm. She couldn’t help herself. Speeches could wait.
“I need to touch you,” she said. “I need …”
“Me too.” Niall scooped her up in his arms, like he had that very first night they’d made love. “Where’s your bedroom?”
“Down the hall,” she said.