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“I made a promise to Cordelia,” Róisín said. “But I don’t think keeping it is doing anyone any favors.”

“What … I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this, Róisín,” Niall said.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Niall, what are you, some kind of amateur? You get on a plane and fly to New York, for god’s sake. Didn’t think I’d have to sit here and explain it all.”

“I can’t just fly to New York,” Niall protested, even as the idea tempted him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you have some other pressing matter to attend to here in London? Last I checked, you quit your job.”

“But—she didn’t want me,” Niall said bleakly, and it hurt how much he had clung to that idea. He could feel it slipping away, feel hope springing up in its place, and he couldn’t bear to be hurt again. Róisín seemed to see that in his face. She walked over and patted his cheek.

“Listen to me,” she said. “I saw her, after it all happened. I sat there as she cried buckets into my lap. She loved you then and she loves you still. I can feel it in my bones. I’m always right about these things, aren’t I, Fiona?”

“You are,” Fiona said.

“And I can see plain as day you still love her too,” Róisín said. “You’re not happy here. Look at this flat. There’s no character, no Niall. It’s like a ghost lives here. You can work in a pub anywhere. There’s only one Cordelia. You know where she is. Go get her.”

Niall looked to his father again. Owen was searing the meat in a pan.

“I’m not one to argue with Róisín,” he said.

Niall looked to his mother, who was trying and failing to suppress her smile.

“Go, Nie,” she said. “It’s what you want. I can see it in your eyes.”

Niall felt dizzy. The thought of seeing Cordelia again was like a balloon expanding in his chest, his ribs straining against his skin like his heart might pop clean through.

“Can I?” he said, more to himself than anyone else. “Can I … go to New York?”

She was going to say yes.

“Course you can!” Róisín said, clapping her hands together. “Niall, get your computer. Fiona, pour us some more whiskey. Oh, this is a grand thing to be planning on Christmas Day, is it not?”

Niall found himself sitting on his couch between his mother and Róisín, looking at flights.

“This is insane,” he said. “I don’t even know where in New York she lives.”

“I’ve got her address,” Róisín said with a wink. “You two may have stopped talking but I’ve called her a time or two and Alison has checked in. She seems as mopey as you, to be honest. If I lived in New York, I’d have gone over to her place already to smack some sense into her.”

She was going to say yes. Yes to him. Yes to them. Niall was still having difficulty processing it.

“Damn,” Fiona said. “It looks like there isn’t an open flight until December 31st.”

“Well, book it!” Róisín said to Niall. “That’s not more than a few days.”

“Go on, lad,” Owen said from the kitchen.

Niall grabbed his wallet. A few minutes later, he was the proud owner of a plane ticket from London to New York.

27

Cordelia was quite proud of herself, all things considered.

She’d spent Christmas Eve with Liz, drinking wine and watching Hallmark holiday movies. On Christmas Day, she’d gone to the brownstone in Carroll Gardens. It was fun to celebrate Christmas with the kids—Nikki had gotten everybody matching reindeer pajamas and Cordelia had spent the day in a onesie with Grace practically glued to her side.

She was determined to make merry and she had. She wouldn’t let the lingering ache over Niall get in the way of celebrating with her friends and family. The week between Christmas and New Year’s had that bizarre, timeless feel, as if she’d stepped into a wormhole where all the days blended together. But New Year’s Eve had come and Cordelia was thinking that maybe this would be the thing that tipped her over the edge into actual happiness. A new year. A clean slate.

She’d even agreed to go to the New Year’s Eve party Liz was throwing. Cordelia hated New Year’s Eve parties as a rule, but she was willing to make an exception this year—staying home alone felt way too depressing. Plus, Liz’s place was only three subway stops away. Cordelia could flee if she needed to.