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I was nervous about the rest.
I did talk to Mike about the drinking thing, like Chris said I should. Mike was apologetic, he owned it, and since then he hadn’t been drinking at all. But he would at the cabin, and I was worried I’d leave there feeling like I had last time.
Things with Mike were good, everything was okay. I’d even told him I loved him finally—and I did. It just felt fragile for some reason, like any little thing could change my mind about it.
I was always on the fence with Mike. I was lukewarm about us, all the time.
We never fought, we never disagreed on anything. He was thoughtful and good to me. But I wasn’t feral for him. Lexi was right.
At first that didn’t bother me. Mutual respect, having fun with each other—these things were more important.
But could I see us together in the long run? I was no closer to knowing that than I was three months ago. And it was beginning to matter more than ever, because I was about to make a huge decision about our relationship that would be very hard to undo.
I glanced up at the clock. Donna wasn’t back from the store yet. I had a question, and I’d promised myself today would be the day I finally asked it. I was so worried about what she might say that I didn’t even tell Mike.
“Hey, you still doing that secret shopper thing?” Lexi called from the dining room.
“No.”
She came around the corner with her sugar tray. “Why?”
“It was just too much wear and tear on my car. It defeated the purpose,” I said, wiping a hot sauce bottle.
“Wasn’t Chris driving you around for that?”
“He only took me once.”
“So Mike started taking you?”
I shook my head. “It’s too much gas for his truck.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why do these men who don’t need trucks buy trucks?”
“He does need it. For the plumbing job.”
“The plumbing job? The one he doesn’t actually do?”
“He does it,” I said defensively.
“Oh yeah? When?” She cocked her head.
“I don’t know, all the time. He did that one thing at Mall of America, and he was working for Tony a ton in the spring…” I trailed off when I realized that was over six months ago and Mike hadn’t worked for Tony since. “Well who cares if he does it?” I said. “He’s going to, when Tony retires.”
“I don’t think so,” she said, jamming Sweet’N Low into her caddy. “I heard Janessa say he doesn’t want it.”
I paused to look at her. “What do you mean?”
“Mike doesn’t want it. She said her dad’s leaving it to his business partner.”
“Are… are you sure?”
“I mean, that’s what she said.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “Okay. Maybe he just wants to work there and not own it. Owning a business is hard.”
She gave me a look. “Girl, he doesn’t want to work there either. He doesn’t work there. You are dating a personal trainer—with a part-time job—and a giant fucking truck that he doesn’t need.”
I stared at her.