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“How about a raccoon sort of frothing at the mouth—”

“Okay, stop. This isn’t any of those things. This is a defenseless baby deer.”

Right as she said defenseless, I heard it. A sound that made the hairs stand on the back of my neck. Larissa heard it too—her head jerked up.

There, on the edge of the tree line, in the soft light of the Toilet King, was a single, angry, huffing female deer.

I felt the blood drain from my face.

Larissa swallowed. “She knows we’re helping her,” she said. “Just keep going.”

Not an option. I was frozen. Paralyzed with fear.

She looked at me. “Chris?”

“I can’t…”

She glanced at my shaking hand, then back up to my pale face, and she blinked at me. “Are you… are you really afraid of deer?”

“Yes, I told you,” I said.

“I thought you were kidding! Oh my God, Chris, I would have never made fun of you if I knew you were actually scared!”

I couldn’t even reply.

“Give me these,” she said, taking the clippers. “Go back to the car.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Please, it’s almost done. Just wait in the car.”

“No.”

She glanced at the mother. “Fine. We’ll be done in a second. You hold her.”

I held down the fawn while Larissa clipped in what felt like slow motion.

Beads of sweat started accumulating on my forehead.

“We’re almost there,” she said calmly. “Baby is quiet. Mom’s just watching.”

The deer huffed again, and my heart slammed into my rib cage.

“This is it,” I breathed. “I’m going to die at one o’clock in the morning next to a highway in front of a Toilet King billboard.”

“And in a shirt with Woofarine’s face on it.”

I laughed nervously, despite myself.

“Just a few more, then we can make a hole big enough to let her out,” she said. “There!”

She pulled back the plastic, I let go, and the animal was free.

It wobbled to its feet, its little tail tucked, and staggered away from us.

Larissa stood, and I got up feeling about as sturdy as the fawn we just saved.

“We did it!” She beamed.