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» “I’m only writing this because I’m assuming if he gets a girlfriend she’ll tell him how stupid he is for naming his dog Brad and she’ll convince him to change it. Justin was very polite and has excellent personal hygiene. You should date him. —Faith.”
I shook my head at the screen, laughing.
I texted him.
Me: Nerd
He replied with laughing emojis.
I had to admit, he’d piqued my interest in Minnesota after our marathon call yesterday. He’d piqued my interest in him, which is why I’d spent the day making phone calls and sending emails and putting together a presentation for Maddy. It was time sensitive and I had to do it tonight, and it was not going to be pretty. I blew air through pursed lips and got up to go find her.
She was in the living room on the sofa in front of the wood-burning stove on her phone. I came into the doorway. “Hey, do you have a second? I want to talk to you about something.”
Maddy looked up. Then her eyes dropped to the laptop I was holding and she somehow immediately knew what was about to happen. “No.” She shook her head. “No. No, no, no, no, no. NO.”
I came into the room and slid onto the couch next to her. “Hear me out.”
“We are going to Hawaii, Emma. It was my turn to pick. I bought a new bathing suit—”
“You can wear it here too.”
“I am not going to Minnesota. It’s a flyover state. It’s not in our top twenty-five—”
“How did you know I was going to say Minnesota?”
“Uh, because you’re all twitterpated over what’s-his-face? Listen to me, you don’t really like him. You’re only feeling this way because he’s six-three.”
I laughed. “He is not six-three.”
“Well how tall is he then?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask, I don’t care.”
“Well he looks six-three to me and I think that’s clouding your judgment. You are not swapping Hawaii for Minnesota.”
“Why not?” I asked. “It is a beautiful state, we could day-trip up to Canada. Remember that cupcake shop you saw on Food Network? Nadia Cakes? They have two locations there. And the top twenty-five is more of a guideline than a rule.”
She crossed her arms. “A rule we’ve never broken? Not once in three years? And how dare you try and lure me off a tropical island with cupcakes. Exactly how spectacular is this man’s penis?”
“Maddy!”
“What?! You are not selling me on your sudden love for the Upper Midwest. Do not sit here and pretend like this isn’t a hundred percent about the guy.”
“Justin. And yes, it’s a little about him. But this is purely logistical.”
“Oh yeah? How?”
I tucked my leg under me. “Okay, so I know how this is going to sound. But if Justin and I date for a month, then break up, in theory”—I put my fingers in quotes—“the next guy I meet will be The One.”
She gave me a look.
“What? It sounds like fun,” I said. “You’re telling me you don’t want to see if it works?”
“Have him fly to Hawaii to see if it works. We do not go out of our way for men. We do not inconvenience ourselves for men, we do not change our well-laid plans for men. No.”
“Tickets to Hawaii are like a thousand bucks round trip right now. I can’t ask him to do that once a week for a month, that makes no sense. Look.”
I opened the laptop. “Look at the place I found for us—”
