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I waited five minutes and then I excused myself to follow Jacob into the taxidermy room.
Nobody noticed we’d left the table. The party was in full swing. Jeremiah was belting “500 Miles” on the stage and everyone was singing the chorus. I slipped into the house and made my way down the hall, and that’s when I heard the voices. Jacob’s and Amy’s voices. They were arguing.
My heart sank.
I backed up against the bookshelf to listen, barely breathing.
“It was never that I didn’t want you…” Amy said.
More muffled fighting.
“…one-sided conversation for the last two and a half years.” Amy again.
“You were! Thank you for finally noticing!” he yelled.
I’d never heard Jacob angry. I’d never seen him upset. I didn’t even know he was capable of it.
But of course he was capable of it. Because it was her.
This was just like all the times I’d stumbled onto Kelly and Nick arguing. Fighting because they couldn’t be together. Fighting because they were in love with each other and frustrated because it hurt. You don’t argue with someone you don’t give a shit about.
He was still in love with her.
Jacob was not over this.
But the worst part of all was that neither was she.
Amy must have followed him in here. Waited until she could get him alone to come corner him when Jeremiah wouldn’t notice.
Or maybe she didn’t. Maybe he’d cornered her.
And just like that, my Maybe I Could Date Him turned into a resounding No.
And I was so, so disappointed. Like a rug had been pulled out from under me.
I was instantly reminded that this arrangement was exactly what Jacob said it was—an arrangement.
He hadn’t been falling for me. None of this was real. He was pining over someone else. And that someone else hadn’t resolved her feelings for him, despite being engaged to his brother.
I wanted to cry. It was so fucked up.
Something in my gut told me they’d get back together. That I was witnessing the moment they both realized that seeing each other with someone else was just too hard.
She’d probably gotten jealous seeing us together. This was probably getting too real for her—the wedding was barreling toward her, Jacob had “moved on,” and she was getting a reality check realizing that she and Jacob were truly over—and she couldn’t handle it.
I already knew how he felt. He told me the day I agreed to our charade: I love her.
Unresolved love always circles back. It lingers. It festers. It builds inside of you until it has to come out, and it putrefies everything else. It makes you resent who you’re with because they can’t be the one you really love and never will be. It makes you compare and feel disappointed every time you realize no one is as good as her.
I knew this better than anyone. I’d already lived it once.
Something crashed behind me.
“Peekaboo, cocksucker! Bieber! Bieber!”
Jafar had knocked a frame off the shelf. I’d been so focused on listening I didn’t even see the bird fly in.
I tore around the corner before the door opened and went back to the party.